


makes a battle like a song

by LizBee



Series: Team Tophzula! FUCK YEAH! [5]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Action, Awkward Sexual Situations, Bathing/Washing, Canon Character of Color, Canon Disabled Character, F/F, Future Fic, Mental Illness, POV First Person, Present Tense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-18
Updated: 2013-02-23
Packaged: 2017-11-02 03:15:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 32,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/364364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizBee/pseuds/LizBee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Toph gets to rescue a princess, but Azula isn't exactly what you'd call grateful.  For one thing, being held captive by vengeful earthbenders has rekindled the problems she hoped were left in the past.  For another thing, she's uncomfortably drawn to Toph, the only woman in the world who can match Azula for power and arrogance.  With the tenth anniversary of the Avatar's return nearing, Toph and Azula find themselves fighting to prevent another war.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally begun for the Avatar Big Bang in 2011. Suffice to say, matters got a bit out of hand. 
> 
> It is currently within a week or so (provided I actually, you know, work at it) of completion, but with Korra so close, I really wanted to start posting, because I have this terrible fear that the new series will do something implausible and silly like claiming that Toph is somehow straight. It may take me a while to get it all actually posted, but it should be finished quite soon. (I do, however, reserve the right to go back and edit posted chapters if I feel it's necessary.) 
> 
> Title is from "Anger as Beauty" by Hawksley Workman.

**Toph**

The tunnel changes between one step and the next. Behind me is a natural badgermole warren. Ahead is a man-made labyrinth. Even the air smells different, but it's my feet that confirm it. It's all in the texture, provided you know how to pay attention.

It's a shame Sokka's not with me. I'll have to save my boasting for later. 

Anyway, there's no point planning the victory party until the job's done. I move into the artificial tunnels, listening for movement. 

Whoever designed this maze was pretty good, and my earthsight only gets me so far. Recognising dead ends is easy. Finding one Fire Nation prisoner amongst a dozen earthbender guards? Not so much.

Two guards are headed my way. I seal them into a cavern before they have a chance to spot me, and hurry past. I'm gone by the time they've freed themselves.

Further in I go. Three more guards. I bind them to the wall, hands and feet encased in rock. They carried metal chains with rocks at either end for control. Ex-Dai Li, then. They're a long way from Ba Sing Se. Got to earn money somehow, I guess.

Their chains come in handy for taking down the next pair of earthbenders, and I laugh.

Soon I'm down to four guards, gathered together in a big central chamber. I can feel one other heartbeat. It's steady and firm, so the prisoner's okay. Zuko will be thrilled. I doubt special envoys are easy to find.

Four earthbenders. One prisoner. Enclosed space. 

"So there's the element of surprise," I say as the wall opens around me, "and then there's brute force."

This is the fun part.

It's also the fast part.

"You know," I tell the last guy, right before he passes out, "maybe Long Feng should have tried recruiting from Earth Rumble contestants." 

He makes an incoherent little noise.

"You're right," I say. "I was whupping their asses when I was twelve."

I turn to Zuko's special envoy, bound by rocks in the centre of the room, in the middle of a stone ring that falls apart when I kick it. Her stone shackles crumble into dust. She shifts, but says nothing. There's just that steady, even heartbeat.

I know that pulse.

" _You're_ Zuko's special envoy?"

There's a smile in Azula's voice as she says, "It's a pleasure to see you, too."

Well, shit.

This started a week and a half ago, when the Fire Nation ambassador to Omashu requested an urgent appointment. This was unusual, because Di Ling usually keeps to himself, and if he has to come to Bumi's palace at all, it's at our invitation. He got the job of ambassador because he was a decent guy who had very quietly tried to do the right thing by the Earth Kingdom when he was governing a minor coastal colony, and that's the sort of thing Zuko likes to reward.

Also, Di Ling's creeping awkwardness makes Zuko uncomfortable, so he was pretty happy to send the guy out of the country. 

Of course, Di Ling also makes me uncomfortable, but no one cares about my feelings. Or rather, Zuko just said, "Yeah, but you never let that worry you." Which is fair.

Anyway, Di Ling came to see me, and he didn't even apologise for turning up early. His heart rate was accelerated, and he was sweating a bit, and his voice trembled as he said, "Lady Bei Fong--"

"Toph," I told him for the dozenth time.

"--An urgent matter has arisen." He was pacing. It sounded like his head was down. Usually he at least tried to make eye-contact. "The Fire Lord sent a special envoy to investigate reports that a former admiral was gathering forces on the south-western coast. I -- I'm afraid I wasn't given a great deal of information, only that the envoy was to be given any support she requested." He tried to laugh. "I'm afraid they consider me a bit odd in the Fire Nation, you know."

"So what's happened to your envoy?" I asked.

"She's -- gone. Vanished. Her assistant and the guard accompanying them are dead." He dropped his voice. "They appear to have been killed by earthbenders."

" _Great_."

Coming up to the tenth anniversary of the Comet, a potential diplomatic incident was the last thing anyone needed. Least of all me, because Bumi has this weird idea that I'm good at that sort of thing. If that was true, it would be awful enough to send me screaming back to Yu Dao and teaching, but mostly I just tell people how it's going to be, and then let Aang take care of all the sweet-talking while I get into the canapes. 

"The Fire Lord suggested -- erm, ordered that I ask you, Lady Bei Fong--"

"Toph."

"--He recalls your time spent with the bounty hunter, June, and your great strength and power."

I very much doubted that Zuko had used those exact words, since my time spent with June had mostly involved having sex, getting drunk and getting into fights, not necessarily in that order. And yeah, I'm strong and powerful, but my friends seem to think that that if they harp on about it, it'll only feed my ego. Which is fair.

On the other hand, Zuko wasn't one to dwell on embarrassing incidents like finding out I was sleeping with his hot bounty hunter buddy, so if he was going to bring it up, he was probably desperate. 

And the tenth anniversary of the return of the Avatar was just over a month away, and Mai was pregnant, and more stress was probably the last thing anyone needed, least of all Zuko.

And I really didn't want another war. Sorry, _armed conflict. Treaty violation. Hostile action._

"Fine," I told Di Ling. "I'll take care of it. Where was your envoy last seen?"

Which was how I came to be releasing Zuko's crazy sister from her shackles and, as heavy footsteps approached, preparing to fight our way out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Azula**

It's humiliating, but at first I have trouble standing. My captors haven't been overly generous with food, and the water they've given me has been laced with soporific herbs. I clutch at the remnants of the railing, gathering my strength for the fight yet to come.

"Five guys," says Zuko's little blind friend. "Earthbenders. I guess I don't have to wonder what _you_ did to piss off the Dai Li."

I harness my irritation, drawing strength to stand up straight and say, "Some people can't cope with the knowledge of their own inherent mediocrity."

"Right. That must be it."

Toph. Her name is Toph, I remember, and unofficially she's King Bumi's heir. Which is ridiculous on several levels -- the Earth Kingdom has Ba Sing Se and the Earth King, yet Kuei permits Bumi to rattle around Omashu, his mere existence undermining what little authority he has. And then, for Bumi to choose a random earthbender as his heir -- not that the Avatar's master can be considered _random_ , but Toph isn't even from Omashu, has no ties to the city as far as I can remember. They say I'm crazy, but next to King Bumi, I'm as sane as the next woman.

I'm feeling better, stronger, ready to fight. And just in time. 

The earthbenders break down the wall between the corridor, and the dust stings my eyes, but I don't need to see to shoot fire at my enemies. I've struck true. I can almost feel the sizzle of my fire on his skin. Toph knocks another one out with a rock to the head. It's not a move I would have expected from one of the Avatar's allies, but at least we're fighting with the same levels of ferocity and control. 

"Can you get us out of here?" Toph shouts over the rumble of stone and the crackle of flames.

I take a moment to concentrate, letting Toph shield me while I focus my attention. Lightning doesn't come as easily as it once did. 

The electricity breaks right through the stone ceiling, and for a second I think I'm going to be crushed by falling rock. But Toph shields us, deflecting it towards our enemies, and raises the floor beneath us, pushing us towards the surface.

For a second, I permit myself the luxury of lying on the ground, the sun warming my body. I had been underground too long. 

Toph pulls me to my feet.

"Can you ride an ostrich-horse?" she asks. "There are barns this way."

And suddenly I have a dim memory of being brought to this place. It's distant and hazy, like the weeks after the Comet came, but I'm sure it's real. I can remember the sway of the ostrich-horse's gait, the jingle of the bridle and stirrups.

"Of course," I tell her.

A decade ago, this must have been a Fire Nation army base. Now it's in ruins, all except the barn that once held komodo rhinos. This is where my captors keep their ostrich-horses. The beasts are nervous, spooked by the earthquakes caused by our battle. I grab the calmest one and bridle it. No time for a saddle. I throw myself up behind its neck.

"What are you waiting for?" I ask Toph.

"Yeah," she says, "I'm not really cut out for--"

I grab her arm and pull her up behind me. As we make our escape, I turn back and set a wall of the stable on fire. The rest of the ostrich-horses flee at once, scattering in all directions.

"That didn't sound very good," says Toph as the animals' grunts and squeals fade into the distance.

"It was expedient. They weren't hurt."

I wait for a tedious lecture about _morality_ , but Toph just shrugs.

"Cool," she says. "Can you go any faster?"

"Put your arms around my waist," I tell her. "Tighter." I give the ostrich-horse a sharp tap with my heel. It springs into a gallop, and I direct it off the road and into the woods. Behind us, people are emerging from the ground, shouting at one another to round up the other mounts and chase us. But for this moment, we're free.

I throw my head back, letting the sun touch my face, and I laugh.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to say earlier, thank you in advance for tolerating short chapters. Every now and then I decide, "Screw it, I'm not going to worry about my usual arbitrary rules for writing! I'm going to WRITE WHAT I FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!" And then I wind up with a lot of brand new arbitrary rules for writing! Like fairly quick POV shifts!

**Toph**

I am acutely aware of Azula's body.

The only earth I'm touching is the layer of dirt that covers her. I can feel the ostrich-horse moving beneath me, hear the thud of its hooves on the ground, but the only thing I can actually _see_ is Azula.

And it's not a bad view.

She even smells good, I realise, a mixture of dust and sweat and girl, and that smoky scent that always accompanies firebending. My head's on her shoulder, her dirty hair blowing in my face, and I only have to move a little closer--

Whoa. No. No way.

I've done some pretty stupid things in my twenty-two years, but even _thinking_ of making a pass at Zuko's psychopathic sister would be up there in the top five. I have a lot of plans for my life, and surviving to Bumi's age is one of them. Even if she's into girls, Azula probably kills and eats her lovers after sex.

Still, what a way to go.

And she has very nice hips. And her heartbeat is so steady that I wonder what it would take to get her _really_ excited--

"Toph?"

"Huh?" 

I realise Azula has been speaking to me for a couple of minutes, while I've been drifting off to sleep behind her. Worst rescue ever? In my defence, finding Zuko's _special envoy_ has been a higher priority than sleep lately.

"I asked if you have anything to eat. I haven't exactly enjoyed regular meals lately."

"Oh, right." I rummage in the bag slung over my chest. "Here."

"This tastes like old shoes."

"It's seal jerky."

"Right. That was my next guess."

We ride in silence for a while longer, but the ostrich-horse is beginning to flag. We come to a stop on the edge of a long-abandoned town. I climb down from the ostrich-horse with relief, my feet back on solid ground. 

"Are they still following?" Azula asks.

I put my hand to the ground, but the earth is silent.

"No."

"Good." 

There's a pool of water nearby. Eighty years ago it might have been a neat artificial lake, but now it's cracked and messy. Azula leads the ostrich-horse to the edge, and I make the muddy ground a bit harder and higher, easier to sit on.

After a moment, she joins me.

"I suppose my brother sent you," she says.

"Yup."

"...Thanks."

I shrug. "I never say no to a fight."

"It's getting dark," she says, standing up. "And I refuse to spend another night with rocks in my hair."

I hear the whisper of fabric, and something soft lands by my side.

"Are you taking your clothes off?" I demand. 

"You're _blind_."

"And you're filthy. I can see _everything_."

"Not for long," says Azula evenly, and she steps into the water.

Well, that's just unfair.

"Pass me my clothes," she says.

"You're gonna be cold when the sun goes down."

"I'm a firebender," she says in the sort of tone people use when they speak to children, idiots and helpless blind girls. "I can dry them."

"So if this princess business doesn't work out, you can take in laundry."

I meant it as a joke, but Azula is silent for a few moments, and when she does speak, her voice is icy.

"I'm not royalty anymore," she says. "My brother had me stripped of my titles after he took the throne."

"Oh." She said it like she was just stating a fact, not sounding sorry for herself or anything. "I didn't know."

"I suppose you all had better things to talk about than Zuko's mad sister."

Now she sounded mocking, so I just said, "Pretty much. Like working out the treaties between the Earth Kingdom and the Fire Nation. Like, oh, the one that pretty much bans you from setting foot here ever again." 

Azula emerges from the water. She's standing over me, and I can hear water dripping off her skin onto the rocks. 

I wonder if I'm supposed to feel threatened. 

"Take it up with Zuzu," she says. "I just go where he sends me, like a good and loyal servant."

She walks away, I guess to go dry her clothes and plan her next round of awkward conversation. I lie back on my rock until the sun is well and truly gone. Finally I get up and go in search of Azula. I can hear a fire crackling inside one of the old buildings, and I'm really hoping Ozai's lessons for princesses included campfire cookery. Because otherwise, it's seal jerky and dried apricots for supper.

Again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Azula**

The less said about Toph's food the better, but there are wild apple trees near the lake, so we're fed, if unfulfilled.

Toph pays careful attention to everything I do. She doesn't trust me, and why should she? And I'm not going to go to the effort of making myself likable just to please her. 

"So," I say, "is the Earth Kingdom so chaotic that renegade earthbenders feel comfortable abducting foreign dignitaries?"

"Usually there's a pretty strong fear of reprisal," says Toph, "but I guess they made an exception for you." She bites into her apple, and says with her mouth full, "And don't you think 'dignitary' is a bit strong? I mean, your presence wasn't exactly announced."

"That's not true. It was explicitly mentioned in one of Zuko's formal notices to the Earth King."

"How explicit?"

In the very fine characters at the bottom of the last page, but I just say, "Maybe you need to find someone to read the correspondence to you."

"I hope Zuko's going to pay for my expenses in this rescue."

"Wear and tear on your feet?"

"Hey, I might have chipped a nail down there."

I have to look away so she won't see me smiling, before I remember how pointless that is. 

"Seriously, though," she goes on, "what did you find on the coast? Is there some kind of force being gathered? I haven't heard anything, but maybe Zuko's intelligence people--"

"Nothing," I say. "There was nothing there. I don't think there ever was."

"What, not at all?"

"Some peasants had moved into an old naval base, but they were all Earth Kingdom citizens. Refugees, I suppose. They ran like rabbit-cats when they saw my guard's uniform." Belatedly I remember to ask, "What happened to my people?"

"They're dead."

"Oh." 

I should feel something. Grief. Or sadness, at least. The most I can seem to muster is regret that all Captain Goro's training has gone to waste. He was the only member of the imperial guard I could tolerate, and since Zuko insisted I have a bodyguard, we spent a lot of time together. It's a waste of resources, his dying like this. A waste of potential.

As for Emi, my secretary-nurse, I can't even summon that much feeling. She carried tales to my brother about my behaviour without bothering to distinguish between my -- illness -- and things she simply didn't like. An evening spent flirting -- or trying to -- with the wife of a very minor industrialist, for example, and then she would smirk as she waited for Zuko to punish me. As if he even cared. 

And she had no scruples about putting drugs in my food or drink to make me sleep if she thought I was over-excited, or if she simply didn't want to deal with me that day. It was humiliating, so much so that I hadn't even told my brother. I was still pondering ways to deal with her when Zuko sent us out here. And now she's dead.

Only--

There is a flicker of memory, the night before I was taken. The astringent taste of the tea she served me, and the heavy, helpless sleep I'd fallen into. And I had woken up a prisoner.

"She drugged me," I say. 

"Your secretary?"

"Yes." I throw my apple core away. "But was she a traitor, or just stupid? And why do I always have to come back to that question?"

"Either way," says Toph, "you were missing for a week, and it took me another ten days to find you. I wonder why there was no ransom?"

I swallow. 

"A week?"

"Almost three."

"No," I say, forcing a laugh, "they only had me for a few days."

"Maybe you were unconscious."

I remind myself to breathe. This was how it began, time slipping away, decisions I didn't remember making. Zuko coming to me, telling me he had taken my place, and that he would look after me. 

When I had control over myself again, I said, "Do you want to fight?"

"Huh?"

"You and me." I stood up, stretching my muscles. "We've never actually fought, you know. Not one on one. I hear you're pretty good."

"I'm the best."

"Right. Because you've never taken me on." I examine my fingernails. "Don't tell me you're afraid of the dark."

A wall of rock rises before me, and I smash it just before it hits.

It's on.


	5. Chapter 5

**Toph**

For some reason I'd assumed that going crazy would have weakened Azula's powers, but she is as fast and deadly as I remember. While I'm busy dodging her fireballs, she's climbing a tree. I can hear her breathing, and the shaking of tree branches as she moves, but all I know for sure is that she's somewhere above me, and I'm probably about to be set on fire. 

There it is. I manage to deflect her blast with a boulder, but it's a near thing. I throw a wave of earth against the tree, and I hear her laugh as she throws herself out of the way.

"It's funny," she says, her voice light, "I thought you'd be a challenge."

She jumps out of the tree my next wave of earth hits. I feel her land on the ground, and there's a satisfying grunt as I knock her off her feet. 

Her next fire blast singes part of my hair, but I bury myself in a deep pit and tunnel through the earth. I can feel her moving above me, but she's hesitant. She's not sure where I am. 

I catch her off-guard as I emerge from the ground. She throws more fire at me, but I'm already wrapping stone shackles around her legs, pulling her to the ground and binding her hands. 

"So I guess I win," I say, leaning over her. We're close enough that I can feel her breath on my face. 

"Maybe," she says, and she kisses me on the lips.

Her mouth is hot and wet, and after a second, I give in and kiss her back. Her tongue grazes my teeth, and I cup her head in my hands, drawing her closer. I can feel her arch her back to be closer to me. She's in an awkward position, and I can feel the quivering tension in her shoulders. One of my hands slips lower, cupping her breast, and I release her bonds. 

And quick as breathing, I'm flat on my back, and Azula is pressing me into the ground. She's straddling me, her thighs pressed against my hips. 

"Oh look," she says happily, "I win after all." Her grip on my arms tightens. "Will you yield?"

"That depends," I manage to say. "Will you kiss me again?"

She freezes. Hesitating? I don't know her well enough to recognise her moods. She's breathing heavily, and maybe she wants me, or maybe I just want to think she wants me. 

Whatever it is, the moment's lost, because --

"Someone's coming," I say.

Azula stands up, and I get to my feet.

"Enemy?" she says.

"No," I realise. "Ex. Get ba--"

My warning comes too late. Nyla bursts out of the darkness, and I hear the whipcrack of her tongue striking Azula. She falls to the ground, gasping in shock, and June dismounts.

"If I'd known you were involved," she tells me, "I'd have asked for danger money."

"Did Zuko send you?" I demand. Azula's heartbeat is firm, and her skin, when I check, is still dry and warm. So she's not allergic to shirshu venom. "Seriously, June, I had it under control."

"I'd hate to see what it looks like when things are out of control." 

The best thing about June, the thing that first attracted me to her, is her sheer, obnoxious confidence. She's the illegitimate daughter of a Fire Nation soldier and an Earth Kingdom fisherman, and as far as she's concerned, the entire world is just a challenge to be defeated.

Okay, she reminds me a little of myself. And we had some good times when we were together. But now, as she scoops up Azula and throws her over Nyla's back, I'm also remembering exactly why it didn't work out.

"You know what your problem is?" I say. "You're arrogant."

"In other news, the wok says the kettle's black."

"And you're _stupid_ with it. She's not a prisoner," I nod in the general direction of Azula. "She's Zuko's sister. She's _important_."

"You think I should ask for more money?" June says, and she laughs. "Don't worry, Toph. I'll get her back to the Fire Lord safe and sound."

She throws herself up on Nyla's back, and for a second I don't even believe what my feet have just told me, because it's too ridiculous to be true.

"No hard feelings," June adds. "It's just business."

She's gone before I can respond. Because she knows that I know she was lying. Whoever has paid her to take Azula, it wasn't Zuko. Which means -- okay, I don't know what it means yet. But I'm going to take a wild guess and say no good can come of this. 

I give her a few moments to feel like she's getting away clean. Then I summon an earthwave, and set out after her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Azula**

Paralysed, I'm bound hand and foot and thrown over the shirshu's back. Lying on my stomach with my face pressed against the ropes binding my hands, I concentrate on the sting of the scrapes and bruises Toph left. The pain distracts me from the panic welling up inside me. 

When I went mad, the doctors used shirshu venom to control me. I shouldn't blame them. (But I hate them.) I was powerful and unstable, and Zuko authorised them to use the venom after I tried to kill him. 

No. My memory's faulty. He hesitated even then. Until I attacked that nurse and tried to kill _myself_. They laced needles with the venom and inserted them into my skin, and while I lay there, immobile and helpless, he came and _apologised_ to me. 

I thought I'd set those memories aside, but they're rushing back, choking me. I struggle uselessly against the ropes.

"Don't bother," says my abductor. "I'll be an airbender before you get out of those knots."

Fire would do it, but I can't even breathe a spark. I hate shirshu venom. I hate being this helpless.

I try to focus on breathing, on reciting prime numbers and the names of the last fifty Fire Lords in my head until I'm calm again. But I still can't summon even the tiniest spark.

"So," she says, "you're Zuko's sister."

At least I can speak.

"I know you lied to Toph. So does she."

"So I'd better hope she doesn't catch us. I'm June, by the way."

I keep silent.

"You're worth a lot of money," she says.

"Whatever they're paying you, my brother will double it."

"I know he will." She pats my shoulder, and even sounds sincere. "But getting murdered in an alley would interfere with my plan to die of old age in bed with someone's wife."

"How about dying in a Fire Nation prison?" I ask.

"I'll take the risk."

"Whoever wants me must be very determined."

"You have no idea," she says lightly, but I can feel the tension in her body. 

We ride on. In the darkness, I have only a vague impression of shadows slipping past. I think we might be heading west, but I can no longer be certain. 

I find myself thinking of Toph. I think I made a fool of myself by kissing her. I'm never quite certain how to recognise interest, and Toph's blindness somehow muddies even the most blatant possible signals. 

But she did ask for more.

And she can fight me, without the slightest trace of fear or hesitation. She didn't hold back. Outside of my family, I can't remember the last time I had a sparring partner who wasn't afraid of me. 

And she kisses the way she fights. I like that. I like that a lot.

Eventually I realise I can move my feet. Then my hands. I flex my fingers and toes until the pins and needles have passed. And when I breathe, I can summon the tiniest spark. It eats into the rope. 

Another spark. Another. I can't bend anything stronger, but it's a beginning. I can do this for hours.

But I don't have to.

Something explodes out of the darkness. The shirshu screams, and suddenly the air is filled with the smell of rotten meat.

"Fuck!" June shouts, trying to bring the shirshu around, but the beast is panicking, blinded by the smell. The animal rears up, and I throw myself off her back, landing in an undignified heap in a slimy pile of durian flesh.

I inch along the ground into the bushes, working at my weakened ropes. The ground trembles, and in the brief flicker of light from my pathetically weak flame, I see that the shirshu has been half-swallowed.

"Sorry," Toph says, to June as she rises from the earth. "No hard feelings." She cuts the ropes around my feet just as I get my hands free. "It's just business."

Toph grabs me by the shoulders, stamps her foot, and we descend into the earth. For a moment I'm suffocating, but then the air is clear again, and we're falling. 

"What--" I start to say. Toph shouts something, but I can't make out the words. 

We land with a heavy splash, and suddenly my mouth is full of icy water.

Too late, I realise that Toph had been shouting, "I really hope you can swim!"


	7. Chapter 7

**Toph**

I almost lose my grip on Azula's hand as we plunge beneath the surface. For a second I think she's lost me, and I almost panic as the weight of the water settles over me. 

Then I feel her take hold of my arms, and she's dragging me up towards the surface. It seems like a long time before we reach it, but Azula's grip is bruising, and she never lets me go. 

We cling to each other and breathe. I wrap my arms around Azula's neck, still coughing up the water I inhaled.

Her arms are tight around me, and I realise that it's probably dark down here, and only a few hours ago she was imprisoned underground. Her heart is heart racing. It's a change from her usual steady pulse, and I bury my face in her neck, against her jugular. She's moving her legs, keeping us above the water, and I know I should relax my hold on her, unwrap my legs from around her waist and mimic her movements, but for the moment I'm still paralysed. Immersion in water is one of my nightmares, and the lingering panic is even stronger than my pride. Azula can say whatever she likes about my fear, as long as she doesn't let me go.

What she does say, eventually, is, "That was your ex?"

"Yeah."

She makes a little huffing noise.

"What?" I say, stung.

"And you're blind. What a waste."

"Fuck you."

Azula's laughter echoes around us.

"How did you take out the shirshu?" she asks.

"Durians. I robbed a greenhouse."

"So there's a town nearby?"

"More like a village. There's a bigger town a day or so's walk from here. That's where we'll go next."

"And after that?"

"Back to Omashu."

We hang there in the water, supporting each other. 

"June was afraid of her employer," says Azula. 

"Anyone want you dead at the moment?"

"They didn't want me dead." Her voice is distant. Thoughtful. "They kept me drugged and underfed, but they needed me alive. I tried to goad the guards, but they never hit me. 'No visible marks,' she said."

"Who?"

"I don't know. I didn't see her face."

"Did you recognise her voice?"

"No." Azula hesitates. "It was low. Soft. I think she kissed me."

"Okay," I say carefully.

"My memory is … unreliable." She forces a laugh. "They gave me so many drugs, at one point I thought I was speaking to Avatar Kyoshi herself."

"Well, that's one woman the Dai Li would take orders from."

I don't know if it was Long Feng's predecessors, or an old Earth King, or just the fact that Ba Sing Se is literally the worst city in the entire world, but the Dai Li stopped accepting women as members about twenty years before Sozin started the war. Some rich Upper Ring families only teach their daughters how to use their bending to make ornaments and art. A few years ago I taught a couple of heiresses how to get their hands dirty, and they're teaching their friends, but it's still a struggle. I know a bunch of older earthbending women, but they're mostly out in the country areas, and despising anything that's not from Ba Sing Se was built into the culture of the Dai Li. 

On the other hand, ten years ago they declared their allegiance to Azula. So maybe I don't know them as well as I think.

For a long time, the only sound is our breathing. 

Then Azula says, "Forget about Omashu. I'm going to find June and make her tell me who hired her."

"No way," I tell her. "First, we let Zuko know you're okay. Then you take a couple of weeks to rest and recover. By then June'll be thinking we've forgotten about her. I know where she lives."

"And we take her employers down. Good." 

I should probably be scared by the pleasure and anticipation in Azula's voice, but right now I'm as happy as she is at the thought of actually doing something.

I don't know how much time passes. I've gone numb, and the arm I broke in an earth duel a few years back is aching. 

"Are you cold?" I ask. 

"Freezing," Azula admits. Her voice has become soft. Her breath is just a whisper against my cheek. "The cold and dark are dangerous to firebenders."

"Didn't Zuko take an arctic swim once? Aren't you supposed to be better than he is?"

She rises to the bait, stiffening a little. 

"As far as I'm concerned," she says, "we can't get to the surface fast enough. How long do you think we've been down here?"

"Long enough," I decide. 

I pull my bracelet off my arm and stretch out the metal, extending it downwards in the water. It seems to go forever, until--

"I've hit rock. Hold on." 

It's a tenuous link to the earth, but it's all I need. The water gets rough as the stone platform ascends. It picks us up, propelling us upwards, and then I break through the surface and we emerge into the afternoon sun.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay; I've been quite sick lately (who needs a gallbladder anyway?) and it turns out that opiates really impair my ability to do ... stuff.

**Azula**

The mud beneath me is sticky and still smells of durian, but I don't care. I lie flat on my back in the sunlight, taking in breath after breath until my strength has returned. Sunlight prickles my skin, as delightful as a tattooist's needle. I exhale a long stream of fire into the air. 

Toph returns the ground to its previous state, then throws herself to the ground beside me. We lie there for a long time, wet and filthy but alive and warm.

Eventually she sits up and tips the contents of her waterlogged bag out into the mud. I rescue the seal jerky, dried fruit and fresh apples before they're further befouled. Toph finds and pockets a leather coin pouch.

The only other object is a seamless metal box. Toph uses her metalbending to open it and passes it to me. 

Inside, dry and pristine, are a small fortune in paper money, a copy of the royal seal of Omashu and a passport in Toph's name. There are other papers, too, proclaiming Toph a very important person who requires freedom of movement and the unquestioning obedience of law enforcement officials. One is signed by my brother, although the impressive effect is spoiled by the postscript that specifies that Toph is not immune to charges of assault, property damage, theft, illegal gambling or public drunkenness.

"Very nice," I say. "Though I'm surprised you need them. I usually get what I want through sheer force of personality."

I am hoping to provoke another fight, a distraction from the vulnerability of the last few hours. Instead, Toph laughs and punches me in the arm. It seems to be a gesture of approval, because she says, "Yeah, but when you've just woken up the mayor and the town guardsmen to let them know you've arrested a guy for murder and can you borrow a jail cell for the night, paper comes in handy."

"Do you do that often? Police work?"

"When I get a chance. Beats sitting around the palace." She rolls onto her stomach. "I mean, Omashu's police are good, but they can't be everywhere. There was this one case, a silk importer killed in his office. It was like an execution, rocks buried in his brain. That was tough. He was totally corrupt. We had more suspects than we knew what to do with."

"And?"

"Turned out his son-in-law did it. He needed money, wanted to inherit the business. End of story." She sounds -- disappointed is the wrong word. Contemptuous.

"I led an investigation last year," I say, "of the murder of a Fire Sage."

"Political?"

"Zuko thought so. Sage Wu was one of my brother's more outspoken opponents." I smile at the memory. "Zuzu was afraid Mai had had him killed."

"Seriously?"

"Who do you think controls the Fire Nation's intelligence networks?"

"I thought that was Minister Lin."

"On paper."

"Huh." I can almost see Toph filing that fact away for future use. I suppose I should have kept it to myself, but really, if the Earth Kingdom's spies haven't figured that out yet, they don't deserve their jobs. And it might add a little challenge to Mai's routine. Keep her from getting bored. I shall point that out to her if she ever traces the story back to me. "So who killed the Sage?"

"No one important. A servant who lost her temper." 

The servant had taken years of abuse from Sage Wu before she snapped and attacked him. I believed her when she said she panicked, and yet the knife wounds she inflicted were all precise and calculated. Now she is Mai's personal secretary, and next time she kills, it will be in defence of the royal family.

Toph stands up.

"You ready to move?" she says.

I climb to my feet, feeling the twinges of old injuries. Two years ago, on an illicit trip into Ba Sing Se, a couple of dissident earthbenders broke my collarbone and my leg, thinking I was one of the Earth King's guards. I spent the next few weeks sleeping on a futon in my uncle's apartment, angry and in pain. I don't care to be reminded of the experience.

"Are we walking?" I ask. "What happened to the ostrich-horse?"

"Ran away from Nyla. We could ride a rockwave, but we might as well put up a sign telling everyone where we're going."

"Wonderful."

We walk, mostly in silence, until dark, and we only stop because we are literally too exhausted to take another step. Toph creates a crude shelter for us, and I barely have a moment to think how strange the last few days (weeks) have been before I fall asleep.

Sometimes I divide my life into _before_ and _after_. Before, I was a princess, a prodigy, the most powerful woman in the Fire Nation. After, I was stripped of my rank and titles, put in the care of the physicians who spoke softly and reported my every word or gesture to my brother. 

_Before_ , I slept well and never remembered my dreams. 

Now --

In this dream, I'm walking down the corridor that leads to my father's cell. My arm and hip are throbbing with pain where he burned me, but when I look down, all I see are the old scars. 

I cross my arms over my bare chest and try to force myself to stop walking.

It never works.

When I reach Father's cell, it's empty. I rest my head on the bars and close my eyes. All these years dismantling his empire, and he's gone. 

"It's me you should be worrying about."

I turn to face her, the woman who oversaw my imprisonment. Kyoshi. Her face paint is cracked, and beneath it I see old, dark wood. She is nothing more than a wooden carving, and she burns in my fire.

I wake up shaking, struggling for breath.


	9. Chapter 9

**Toph**

I lie still, listening to Azula move. I don't know if I should let her know I'm awake or not. 

I hear a crackle of flames, and eventually her breathing slows. The rise and swell of heat tells me that she's meditating.

Zuko, too, was a restless sleeper when he first joined us. He hadn't yet figured out how to walk quietly so as not to disturb me, so I'd feel his footsteps moving aimlessly through the Western Air Temple. Eventually I fell into a pattern, waking up just before he did. That was when I realised it wasn't just insomnia, but nightmares. 

That was a long time ago, and Azula is definitely not her brother. 

But still.

She doesn't say anything about it the next morning, so I don't either. We eat the rest of our food in silence and set out again.

After a while Azula says, "Why did the king of Omashu choose you for his heir?"

"Just lucky, I guess." 

Azula says nothing. Pointedly. 

"Fine," I say. "He knew me through Aang. He said I had the qualities he was looking for in an heir. Which as far as I can tell means that I'm an earthbender with a sense of humour. I'd been moving around for a few years, teaching metalbending, but it wasn't for me. I like Bumi, and I like Omashu and its crazy non-hereditary monarchy, so I accepted."

"It must be strange," says Azula, "coming into so much power when you weren't raised to it."

In the interests of goodwill, diplomacy and not getting my head burned off, I don't make a remark about people who were raised to power finding themselves without any.

"I manage," I say instead. "It's probably weirder for my parents. They like to be big fish in a small pond, and now I'm a middling-sized fish in a lake. My mom keeps hinting I should get married and have kids. Produce my own heir. What's centuries of Omashu tradition compared with the Bei Fong family honour, right?"

"She doesn't know?"

"Know what?"

Azula hesitates. "That you prefer women."

"Please. If she doesn't want to see it, it doesn't exist."

"I wish my father had taken that approach." Azula's voice is light and bitter. "When I was growing up, after Zuko left, the one thing Dad couldn't tolerate was a reminder of my one failing."

"He actually said that?"

"He wanted to be sure the dynasty would live on. My -- tendencies reduced my chances of a fruitful marriage. He said."

I wonder how far I can push this confessional mood. "When did you figure out you didn't need to please him?"

It's a misjudgment. In a cold, flat voice, Azula says, "In the hospital."

"Right. Sorry."

"What for? I'm sure you were all terribly relieved that Zuko's evil sister went crazy. It was so convenient and lucky."

"It wasn't like that."

"Wasn't it? I was _there_." She aims a swift kick at a pile of rocks, blasting them with fire. "I didn't think you'd be one for tiptoeing around the truth."

"Hey," I say, stung, "you were the one who was sharing. I asked a question, you didn't want to talk about it. That's fine. But don't blame me for your problems, _princess_. I'm not responsible for what's in your head."

"Don't call me that," she snarls. 

"Why not? You'd obviously be a lot happier if I was too scared to talk to you. I bet it stings, knowing you only have a home in the palace if you keep Zuko happy--"

I duck the fireball she shoots at me and send a wave of earth to knock her off her feet. She jumps, missing it, and lands just in time to catch a rock in the chest.

Azula goes down with a grunt and a thud, wildly kicking fire. I block it with a rock wall and send dirt to smother the flames, but she takes advantage of my distraction to pin me, sitting on my belly and immobilising my hands with her own.

I kick out, bending the earth. It captures her feet, imprisoning her against me. 

The only sound is our breathing.

"You gonna apologise?" I ask.

"No. You?"

"Nope."

Azula shifts, letting me breathe. Her thighs are tight around my waist. She's still holding my arms over my head. I wonder when she's going to notice that my hands are in the dirt, that I could free myself with a flick of my finger. 

Or maybe she has noticed, and doesn't mind.

"You gonna kiss me?" I say.

I feel her breath on my mouth.

"No," she says.

"Tease."

" _You_ could kiss _me_ ," she suggests.

So I do, leaning up against her, letting my teeth graze her lips. She inhales sharply, releasing my hands. I let her legs go and we sit up, exchanging hurried, awkward kisses as we move, until I'm sitting upright, Azula in my lap, her hands in my hair. 

"We should keep moving," I say between kisses, but then Azula licks my earlobe and I lose my train of thought.

"I refuse to spend another night sleeping on the ground," she says while I press my lips against her throat and feel the beat of her jugular vein against my tongue.

"You can do a lot of interesting things with the right kind of rock." 

"You're filthy," she murmurs. 

"You have no idea."

"No, I mean you're covered in dirt." It doesn't seem to stop her from kissing me, though, until she adds, "and your hair smells like durian."

I let her pull me to my feet.

"I don't bathe for just anyone," I tell her as we start walking again.

"You'll bathe for me."

"You're such a princess."

This time, she just squeezes my hand, her nails digging into my skin.

I smile.


	10. Chapter 10

**Azula**

It's late afternoon before we reach Toph's promised town. The place is small, but the market is bustling and there are two inns. Toph leads me to the smaller of the pair, where they accept her money and hardly blink at our appearance.

Most importantly, next door to the inn is the town's bathhouse. 

It is small and utilitarian, and there's a metallic tang rising from the water, but it's clean and comfortable. Even Toph hardly baulks at the prospect of a shallow pool of hot water. 

She strips without shyness, not bothered by the two old women lingering over their bath. Her body is stocky and muscular, though her heavy breasts, broad thighs and the soft roundness of her belly suggest she might one day run to fat. I find that I like the idea.

For myself, I peel off my clothes cautiously, lingering in the shadows with my back to the wall. I grew up under the eyes of servants, but these old women are strangers. I can feel them watching me, studying my scars, reading the marks on my skin. Judging.

I blink, and they're just old friends, talking, hardly giving me a second glance. 

"What's the problem?" Toph asks under her breath.

"Nothing," I snap, and I concentrate on scrubbing away the layers of dirt that cling to me. 

When at last I'm clean, I stand up, straightening my spine as I march toward the hot pool. There's no mistaking the way the women start whispering when they see my back. They leave quickly. 

I ignore them.

"What was that all about?" Toph asks as I ease myself into the water. 

"I'm causing scandal among the provincials."

"Huh?"

I sigh, leaning back against the stone wall. The water is hot enough to make my various scrapes and scars sting. I take a deep breath and warm the water just a little more. 

"Tattoos," I say when I'm comfortable, "aren't exactly admired in this part of the Earth Kingdom."

"Oh yeah." Toph arranges stone armrests for herself, then says, ever so casually, "Where?"

"Everywhere." My foot brushes against her calf. 

"Lots of little ones?"

"One big one."

"Did it hurt?"

"In places."

"Which ones?"

I flick my toes against the back of her knee. She catches my foot, then leans forward to kiss me. It's a light touch on the lips. This isn't the place for anything more. 

"This is a very bad idea," I whisper. 

"Sounds like you're scared." Toph's tone is mocking. "I'm going to take that as a compliment."

I take her hand in mine, wrapping my other hand around her wrist. Her breath catches as heat flares from my fingers, but she doesn't pull away. 

I manage to stop before I injure her. 

"You," I say, "should be scared of me."

Toph examines her wrist, pulling at the reddened skin. 

Without looking up at me she says, "I can take you."

I already know how this will go. We will sleep together, and she will congratulate herself on her taste for the forbidden and dangerous. I'll be careful at first, but sooner or later I'll lose control and I'll hurt her. Maybe by accident. She'll say she doesn't care. Or maybe she will care, and she'll leave. Either way, her friends will eventually find out, and among them is my brother, and the trust I've managed to earn will be completely meaningless. 

It's a lot to risk. 

I'm so tired of being cautious.

I raise her hand to my lips and kiss her fingers. 

"Just don't burn my feet," she says.


	11. Chapter 11

**Toph**

The sting where Azula burned me has already faded. I've had worse injuries from sparring with Zuko or Aang. She leads me back to our room, her hand resting on the middle of my back. Her steps are full of purpose. Like a soldier with a mission. 

Inside, she slides closed the door and stands still. I think she might be watching me. 

"I guess it's easier when we're fighting," I say.

"Property damage would attract attention." She moves a little closer to me.

"People might be injured."

"It would become awkward," she agrees. I can feel her breath on my lips.

I find the belt on her robe and pull at it.

"Tell me about your tattoo," I say. "Where is it?"

Azula takes my hand, guides it to her right breast. 

"This is the wing," she says.

"Bird?"

"Dragon." She leads my hand over her shoulder onto her back, pulling her hair out of the path. Her robe falls at our feet. I lay my hand flat against her skin, listening. She lets go as I move my fingers out of her reach.

"There's metal in the ink," I tell her. "I can see it. Fine lines of copper and iron." I lean forward and trace the outline of a scale with my mouth. 

I follow the ink's path. The dragon wraps around her, the tip of its other wing resting on her mound. The hair there is short and rough, and I think she must keep it bare usually. I press a kiss against her clit while my hands follow the dragon's tail, over her left buttock and around her leg, coming to an end at her ankle. I lick the spine that runs up her inner thigh then return to her clit, holding her hips to keep her steady against me. There's a smooth bit of skin on her left hip, an old burn scar. I trace its outline. Azula exhales, relaxing for just a second. Then she stops, growing tense again, pushing me away.

"What?" I snap, standing up. Azula pushes me off balance, knocking me to the ground. I land on the futon, my earthsight becoming blurry. "Okay, I get it. You want to be on--" 

She kisses me until I'm breathless, stroking me through the light fabric of my robe. Her hand slides lower, her hot fingers slipping beneath the robe and between my legs. 

She has cut her nails, I realise when she enters me, and I arch my back, finding her hand and pressing her thumb against my clit.

"More," I tell her. She just pulls my robe aside and kisses my breast, teasing me. "I don't beg," I say.

"Good. It's boring."

"Made a lot of people beg, have you?"

She leaves a trail of kisses and bites down my belly, coming to rest with her mouth between my legs. 

"Pleasure," she says, pausing to lick my clit, "makes people vulnerable. They give away so much power just for a moment of satisfaction." 

I think about that while she eats me out. She's not quite as practiced as she lets on, and it takes us a few minutes to find a rhythm. In the end I grab her by the hair and hold her in place, moving against her mouth.

"Yeah," I say, "like that, like that--"

It takes her by surprise when I roll her over, coming to rest with my knees on either side of her head.

"Yeah. Vulnerable," I say.

Her response is muffled, but it doesn't sound friendly. She tightens her grip on my thighs. 

"Harder," I tell her. 

This time she obeys.

I come with an inarticulate cry, squeezing her head between my thighs. When I can move again, I lie back, face up, feeling Azula watching me.


	12. Chapter 12

**Azula**

"My turn," Toph says, reaching for me. 

"No." I push her away and take care of myself. A few strokes is all it takes, and the only sound is the quickening of my breath. 

Afterwards, I don't quite know what to do. In the end, Toph throws a blanket at me and we curl around each other, as awkward as owl-cats. 

"I guess there's not a lot of privacy, living at the palace," she says eventually. 

"Servants gossip. My secretary carried tales."

"And everyone knows who you are."

"I was hospitalised at fourteen. I never had much opportunity to practice sex."

"You must have had someone."

A guard assigned to the palace, discreet and obedient. She was transferred to police duties on the Jang Hui River two years ago. I've tried not to think about her since.

Toph takes my silence for disagreement and says, "Or not. You must be lonely."

Toph doesn't sound pitying or amused. She's just stating a fact. She finds my hand and begins to lick my fingertips. I lean on my elbow and watch her. 

"When I was a kid," she says, "I had this problem with letting other people help me. I mean, until I ran away with Aang and the others, I'd never even had a single friend. I was just the helpless little girl who had to be kept secret from the world. Not allowed to learn or do anything in case it was too hard." 

"And then the Avatar and his friends taught you an important lesson about trust and respect, which you are now sharing with me."

"Actually it was your uncle."

I snatch my hand away. 

Toph carries on regardless.

"And right after that you tried to kill him. But no hard feelings, right? And now I'm passing his lesson on to you: sometimes there's no other motive beyond wanting to be with you and make your life a little better."

"Right."

"I mean, I don't think Iroh necessarily had me fucking his niece in mind at the time," she adds, to my dismay, "but whatever, it's good advice." 

I'm saved from having to respond by a scratching at the door, and the maid's voice letting us know that a meal has been left outside for us.

I turn away and get dressed.

By the time I've conquered my hair, Toph has set out dishes on the low table and taken her seat. Her robe is carelessly tied, exposing her left breast. I look away, concentrating on heating my rice.

"It's fine," says Toph. "I mean, I had fun and I'd do it again. But I don't really get your ideas about sex and power, and I don't want you to think that my whole motivation was to mess with your head."

"I--"

My reply is cut off by the clatter of chopsticks. 

"Messing with your head!" Toph says. "You were being held in a Dai Li mindbending chamber!" 

"No."

"I toured the facilities in Ba Sing Se. The chair, the rail. Do you remember a light?"

"No," I repeat. "I don't remember any of it--"

I remember a light, but it's fire, struck from my father's hands. And it's the grass of the palace gardens beneath my back.

I bury my face in my hands, willing the memory to go away.

"I don't remember," I say.

Toph is beside me. I didn't see her move. She puts her arms around me, holding me in place. 

"Okay," she says. "Okay."

I sleep badly that night. I'm haunted and angry, and try as I might, I can't force the memories of my imprisonment to the surface.

The next morning, all Toph says is, "Don't worry. We'll take care of it."

She gives me an awkward sort of punch in the arm. 

"Thanks," I say.

"No problem."

She walks off to make sure the man renting us his eelhound is sufficiently cowed. I realise belatedly that I seem to have acquired a friend in Toph. Never mind the sex for now. I have not had a new friend since I was six, when Mai and Ty Lee were ordered by their parents to attach themselves to me. 

I wonder what I did to make this happen.

The eelhound was bred from escaped Fire Nation animals, but it lacks the discipline of a properly-raised mount. I save my sneers, though, because this works in our favour. The beast has never been trained to pace itself, and we arrive at Omashu just after noon.

I steer us towards the Fire Nation Embassy. Out of the corner of my eye I see Toph frowning, listening to the city around us. She nods when she recognises our destination.

I leave the eelhound in the outer courtyard, ignoring the guards who spring to attention at our arrival. The younger ones don't even recognise me; the older ones avoid my gaze. 

I sweep through them to the ambassador's office, where Di Ling is just being informed of our arrival.

"Don't bother coming out to greet us," I say, dismissing his aide. "I'm hardly supposed to be in the Earth Kingdom."

"Pri -- Lady Azula." For a second he looks horrified to see me. Then he sees Toph behind me, and realises. Belatedly he bows, his forehead touching the ground. "I'm so relieved Lady Bei Fong found you."

'Lady Bei Fong' has thrown herself into his chair and put her feet up on his desk. 

"It wasn't hard," she says. "Which is not to say that Zuko shouldn't pay me--"

"I'm sure the Fire Lord's gratitude will be substantial," Di Ling murmurs. "Prin -- Lady Azula, you'll find our arrangements here quite humble compared to the royal palace--"

He starts to lead me away, but I don't follow him.

"Go and make your arrangements," I tell him. "I need a moment with Toph."

"Oh. Of course."

He closes the door behind us. 

"'Lady Bei Fong'?" I ask, approaching her.

"'Lady Azula'?"

She stands up, moving in that little bit too close. Not quite pinning me against the desk, but --

I kiss her, and she wraps her arms around my waist.

"If you want to try again," she says, "you know where you'll find me."

"The palace?"

"Or a bar."

We exchange another kiss, and then I push her away and watch her leave.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that marks the end of the first third! Will questions be answered? Villains brought to justice? The depths of Azula's social awkwardness revealed? Only if I get on with editing. Bah.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're reading this, thank you for your patience! As of about 20 minutes ago, the story is DONE, and over the next couple of weeks I'll edit what needs to be edited and get a-posting! 
> 
> AND Korra didn't (entirely) break it! Yay!

**Toph**

"'Dear Zuko.'"

"'To his magnificence the Fire Lord, Zuko, descendant of Fire and beloved of the Sun, lord of the Dragon Throne and ruler of the islands of flames.'"

"Yeah, that. 'Dear Zuko, your secret diplomatic envoy is safe and sound, and you can count yourself lucky I'm an open-minded and forgiving type of woman, because damn, we're going to have a serious talk about treaty terms and how they actually mean something even when they're inconvenient.'"

My secretary makes a small choking noise which I ignore. By the time she's done tidying it all up into proper diplomatic language there will be nothing left of my actual voice. So I have my fun.

"'Anyway, your envoy is--'" I pause, searching for a word that isn't "hot". Or "unexpectedly sexy". Or "and there's this thing she does with her tongue" -- "'fine, so I guess we can let the other thing slide while we sort out the loose ends. Yours, Toph.'"

"'With humble regards, Lady Bei Fong Toph of Omashu'," my secretary corrects me.

"Whatever makes you happy."

Mi Ja tries, but she can't quite repress her cheerful sigh. I've only heard her laugh properly once, maybe twice. She's fifteen going on forty, a product of Omashu's schools for poor kids and war orphans. When I first came here, they tried to assign me a stuffy old man who sniffed disapprovingly every time I scratched my ear. Mi Ja, for all that she tries to be as serious and boring as all the other scribes and bureaucrats in the palace, is at least a bit of fun. 

And she's smart. And she actually enjoys going through millions of books and scrolls in search for one obscure fact. Which is why, when we've finished going through the correspondence that piled up while I was away, I lean back in my chair and say, "You in the mood for a research project?"

"Of course."

"I want to know everything there is to know about the Dai Li's mindbending."

"That could be difficult," says Mi Ja thoughtfully. "The Dai Li's records are controlled by the palace and closed to outsiders. Although..." She pulls a piece of paper towards herself and begins making notes. 

She doesn't hear me when scrape my chair back and stand up. I pause in the doorway long enough to say, "You need money, airship tickets, whatever, let me know."

"I might need to bribe some people."

Times like this, I have actual hope for future generations.

"We'll put it down as discretionary research spending."

Omashu's palace, like that of the Earth King in Ba Sing Se, is built over a vast network of stone and crystal caverns. I head down to the training grounds to throw some rocks for a while. Down here, the earth seems to sing to me, and I respond with a rhythm of my own. We dance together, the stones and I, pushing and pulling as I learn what the ground has to tell me and then send it to do what I want.

I wish people were that easy to figure out.

Let's break it down. I like Azula. That's pretty unexpected in itself, but once you get past her prickliness, she's good company. 

Of course, underneath that prickliness, she's also kind of messed up. Which is interfering with the second part of the situation: I would like to have some kind of mutually satisfying sex with Azula. Repeatedly. Maybe over an extended period of time, or maybe we find out after a week that it's not going to work out, and we settle for awkward encounters at the Fire Nation palace and occasional flings on Ember Island. 

And I'm pretty sure that's what Azula wants as well, for all her mixed signals and pleasure-is-vulnerability routine. I just don't know how we can get past that. Or even how to raise the subject.

If it was anyone else I'd write to Katara and ask her advice. Well, I'd have Mi Ja write to Katara, which would be incredibly awkward for everyone. But I don't think Katara would be much help here. Sometimes she gets it into her head that I need to be protected, possibly from my own taste in women, and I have a strong feeling Azula isn't Katara's idea of good girlfriend material.

I wonder: just how crazy was Azula? I know she tried to kill Zuko and Katara, but that was pretty much business as usual back then. But instead of being imprisoned like her father, Zuko had her sent to a new hospital for mad people. And no one said anything. Technically Azula was a war criminal, but hey, so was Zuko. So were Mai and Ty Lee, and Iroh, and a whole lot of other people. So I could see why the Fire Nation was happy to let Ozai take the fall for the entire royal family, but when the Earth Kingdom diplomats objected, Zuko just said that Azula was as much a victim of Ozai as anyone and refused to hear more on the subject. They settled for the treaty clauses that kept Azula out of the Earth Kingdom, and then everyone was distracted by the business with the colonies and setting up the United Republic of Nations. 

Well. Now we know how well that works. 

So she's back out in the world, conducting business on Zuko's behalf. Only instead of an elite squad of skilled and powerful warriors, she has a secretary whom she suspects of drugging her, and a bodyguard who couldn't save her. 

And, of course, unknown agents who want to brainwash her for purposes unknown.

A rock explodes over my head. Not my doing. 

I put my hands on my hips and say, "Hey, Bumi, your aim's off."

He lands heavily in front of me, the ground absorbing his impact. 

"That was a warning," he says, and the metal cuffs I wear around my ankles become shackles.

"Nice try." I free myself and shift my weight, and the earth follows.

"I hear there's a foreign dignitary in the city," says Bumi, blocking my move and using the earth to catapult himself into the air. 

"Strictly unofficial. Unless you're in the mood for some paperwork."

In response he tries to bury me, which I'll take as a no.

"Rumour has it that she's mad."

"She's about as sane as you are." I knock down a pillar and carve it into thin slices that fly at him. 

"Oh, _good_. We should invite her to the palace. Test her," Bumi magnetises my wristcuffs, pinning me to the wall, "mettle."

I don't give him the satisfaction of a response. 

"So what would you do," I say, "if you have a possibly-unstable ex-princess who can blow your head off if you upset her, and you want to ask her out?"

"Send her flowers?"

I throw him through a wall.


	14. Chapter 14

**Azula**

_To Mai, consort of the Fire Lord, mother of flame,_

_Despite the best efforts of the former Dai Li and the Earth Kingdom in general, I'm alive. If the thought makes you thankful, you and Zuko can direct your gratitude to Toph._

I hesitate, my brush hovering over the paper.

 _I've decided to stay on in the Earth Kingdom to find my captors, or better, their leader. But I find myself wondering:_ someone _must have informed them that I was being sent on a spurious mission to find a non-existent rebel fleet, and_ someone _must have kept them apprised of my whereabouts. And I am quite convinced that my secretary made it easier for them by drugging me on the night of my capture._

_So I ask myself, was this truly an Earth Kingdom operation, or an attempt by forces within the Fire Nation to assassinate me?_

_And if it was the latter, why didn't you know about it?_

_Unless, of course, it was your idea._

There. Nothing about mindbending, or women dressed up like Kyoshi. I hope Mai takes my bait and sets about finding out if Secretary Emi was a traitor or just dangerously stupid. Even if she doesn't, Zuko will certainly see the letter, and the hint that Mai herself tried to have me killed will make him defensive and motivated to see her name cleared. 

Although in fairness, I strongly suspect a plot against me alone would motivate Zuko. Like our uncle, his dedication to his family is a weak point, ripe for manipulation.

I consider adding an expression of good wishes for Mai's pregnancy, but decide against it. Coming from me, a wish for a new heir to the Fire Nation would seem entirely insincere.

I sign and seal my letter put it in the diplomatic pouch myself, rather than trust it to a servant.

I am not, I tell myself, lapsing into irrational paranoia. In my position, anyone who doesn't maintain a healthy fear of betrayal is stupid.

At least, I hope so.

The training grounds are enclosed by high walls, so Omashu residents don't have to be affronted by the sight of us firebending. They're in shadow most of the day, and only the most dedicated diplomatic staff and guards use them.

This suits me, because the most dedicated are more interesting to fight.

Today my usual competitors are joined by a guard, a woman a few years older than me. Technically her role here is ceremonial, but she fights me like it's a matter of life and death. Long after her colleagues have bowed and slunk away, she's still pushing, trying to drive me into corners, testing my weaknesses.

I defeat her. But I have to work at it, and when she finally yields, it's only because the alternative is having her leg broken.

She drags herself to her feet and bows.

"Thank you," she says, peeling a bit of fabric off a fresh burn. "I enjoyed that." 

She limps away, head held high, her fellow soldiers parting to make way for her. A few of them throw me dirty looks, thinking I won't notice. Because I defeated her? Or because none of them could do what I just did?

I dismiss the thought and go back to my room.

It is three days before my body feels like my own again. I train, I meditate. I eat light meals. 

I sleep only when too exhausted to keep awake, and my rest is interrupted by vivid dreams. I find that I can't sleep for more than a few hours, and take to prowling the corridors of the embassy late at night.

Someone here is Mai's creature. Occasionally I scan the embassy staff, wondering which one of them sends sealed messages to relatives that don't exist. That find their way to the palace, to the hands of my sister-in-law. One of those messages contained the rumours that brought me here. Was it ever a true rumour, I wonder, or was it invented wholesale? 

The ambassador nervously tells me that the staff find my attention intimidating. He and his wife have taken to fussing over me. Am I well? Comfortable? Happy with my reception? Unspoken is their fear that I will carry a negative report to my brother. Or that I'll go mad and kill them all.

They are small and tedious. I try to put them out of my mind.

I do push-ups until my arms are trembling, then light candles and concentrate on basic breathing exercises.

I can reclaim my body. I'm never quite sure about my mind.

I concentrate on the mirror.

I kneel before it. With the candles extinguished, the only light in the room comes from the fire in my hands. I have stripped naked, and the flames give my skin an eerie colour. I look, I think, like a painting. My history can be read from my scars. It's the same story as Zuko's, only my version is private. My tattoo, the mark I chose to carry, coils around me, balancing the old burns on my left shoulder and right hip. 

This is who I am, I tell my reflection. Not the screaming mad girl. Not the weapon my father created. I am strong. I endure.

Nevertheless, when I finally fall asleep, I dream that Kyoshi herself has bound me to an altar of stone.

"Listen to me, Azula," she says. "Listen very carefully."

She traces my lips with her gloved hand, then bends down to whisper in my ear. But her voice is drowned out by the roar of fire, and when the smoke clears, I am sitting on the throne of the Fire Nation.

I wake as the sun rises, as tired as I was when I went to bed. I ignore my empty stomach and meditate in the morning light. I ask myself, what do I want?

The throne? That's an old, dead ambition. A small part of me, the part that still belongs to my father, hopes that Mai and Zuko never have an heir, that they have to come crawling to me, offering to restore my place in the succession. But the rational part of me knows that even if Zuko was desperate enough to make me his heir, my first duty would be to marry and have a child myself. And that is the very last thing I want.

I wonder what possible interest a group of Earth Kingdom rebels could have in putting me on the throne. Unless, of course, that notion wasn't some lingering echo of mindbending but a true dream.

Certainty, I decide. That's what I want. Not the shifting, dangerous inevitability of fire, but the solidity of rock.

I want Toph. As a lover, but also as a friend. I want her simplicity, the way she sees the world as a challenge to be defeated. There's no shame in her, no fear. Once I'd have despised her honesty, but for her it is both weapon and armour. Her traumas haven't eaten her alive. Everything about her whispers, _I survive. Ask me how._

I dress myself in borrowed Earth Kingdom robes and set out for the palace.


	15. Chapter 15

**Toph**

For a second I think my office is empty.

Then there's a rustle of paper and a whisper of fabric, and I realise, no, someone is sitting on my desk.

"'Once the conqueror of Ba Sing Se, the former princess now lives quietly in the palace under the supervision of the Fire Lord.'" Azula sighs. "I can't say I think much of your intelligence dossiers. Zuko has never supervised me in his life. I doubt he'd know where to start."

"Feel free to update it." I sit down, putting my feet on my desk beside her, brushing my toes against her dress. She's wearing silk, embroidered in the Earth Kingdom style, but underneath she's wearing her Fire Nation army boots. To distract myself from that image, I say, "How did you even get in here?"

"Force of personality." Azula sounds pleased with herself. "Actually, I told the guards I had official business with one of the more minor bureaucrats. Don't you have a proper secretary?"

"She's in Ba Sing Se. What are you actually doing here?"

Azula braces herself on the desk.

"I'm not good this … emotional business," she says. I try to look surprised. "It's not a talent that comes naturally. And it wasn't a skill I was encouraged to develop. Other people are easy. They're almost transparent, all their joys and desires on display for the world to see."

Her voice has grown very soft. I have to lean forward to hear her properly. She's so close I can almost taste her.

"I'd know if they had played with my mind." Azula sounds almost pleading. Not like herself at all. "I'd know better than anyone."

I reach for her hands, but she moves, tucking them into her sleeves.

"I've seen people who had no idea they'd been brainwashed," I tell her. "They really believed what they'd been told to say."

"I spent five years in hospital, re-learning what was real. I can't do that again."

"What's it like? When you go mad?"

I can tell from her sharp inhalation that she doesn't like the question, but she understands why I need to ask. 

"I stopped sleeping," she says at last. "When I did sleep, I had nightmares, which had never bothered me before. When I was awake, I started hearing things. Seeing things that weren't there. Telling me things I didn't want to be true. Then the paranoia began. After that, I just … broke."

In a lighter tone she adds, "People say it all happened in a matter of days, but that's because I hid it well. It actually started on the night before the eclipse."

"Did something happen?"

"My father burned me."

I think of the smooth scars on her shoulder and hip, and the way she pushed me away when I touched them. A man as big as Ozai could do that to a person without breaking a sweat.

"Did you fight back?"

"Of course. I'm not _Zuko_. But he took me by surprise. And I'd been drinking." Her voice is razor-sharp as she adds, "Ty Lee tasted like rice wine."

She throws this down like a challenge, daring me to be jealous. Because I'm reminding her of her own hurts, and she needs to strike back. 

I just say, "You fought well on the Day of Black Sun, for a girl with fresh burns."

"I had a lot to prove."

"My dad once had me kidnapped and held in a metal box," I offer.

"Did he tell you it was for your own good?"

"I don't go home that much these days."

"Really? I visit Father regularly. I like him to know how well I'm doing without him."

A really ugly thought comes into my head, and I say, "You don't think he--"

"No. If security was that badly compromised, Zuko would be dead by now."

"I guess that's reassuring. Sort of."

"I did wonder if maybe your friends the Kyoshi Warriors played a part, though."

"Please. I'm not saying Suki wouldn't be happy to beat you up and leave you in prison for a few months--"

"She could try," Azula mutters.

"--But none of her people would work with the Dai Li."

"Not even for revenge? But no," Azula slides off my desk and paces, "the woman I saw was older. What happens to Kyoshi Warriors when they retire?"

"I doubt they go into kidnapping and mindbending. But we can ask Suki."

"'We'?"

"Hey, I'm short a secretary." I point in the general direction of Mi Ja's desk. "You can take dictation, right?"

To my surprise, Azula obeys, taking her place at the subordinate desk and preparing the ink.

But as she takes up her brush she says, "I want to find the people who did this to me. And I want to make them pay."

And I shiver.


	16. Chapter 16

**Azula**

I don't pretend I'm not surprised that June's house is attractive and comfortable. I was expecting a shack decorated with empty bottles, but this little house on the coast is almost tasteful.

Unfortunately it's also empty. A layer of dust coats the furniture, and the meat in the cool box is rotten.

"Did we come too soon?" I ask Toph, but she doesn't answer. She's going through a shelf of cheap novels, shaking them out.

"She hasn't left anything," says Toph at last. "I don't think she's come back here."

It has been two weeks since I escaped captivity -- a fortnight until the anniversary celebrations begin -- and Toph sounds genuinely concerned. I'm surprised to realise that I'm jealous. Nothing Toph has said has made me think she's yearning for June's company, but I find myself wondering if, after all this, my role in Toph's life is to be nothing more than the catalyst for a reunion with her ex-girlfriend.

Not that I have the right to expect more.

But I want--

"Do you hear that?" she says.

I freeze, listening, but the only sounds are the wind and the waves.

"Never mind. Must have been an animal."

"Maybe we should have waited until morning," I say.

"Because I see so much better by daylight?"

"Because sounds can be misleading at night."

"For you, maybe." Toph trails a finger through the dust that coats June's table. "Let's come back tomorrow. You can leave a note."

June's house stands a twenty-minute walk from a fishing village. It's a quiet spot, almost untouched by the war. But the road is dark and eerie by night, and the pounding of the surf on the other side of the dune reminds me of the beach house that became my asylum.

This time, when Toph hushes me, I hear a soft tread of feet on the sand dunes.

"Get down," I say. 

My fire illuminates everything: Toph, the path, the young man attacking us. 

He deflects my fire with a shaft of rock, and though I think I might have singed him, it hasn't slowed him down. 

He's good. I chase him over the sand, using jets of fire to keep myself clear of the ground that he shifts beneath my feet. Toph follows, but she's slower on this fine, white sand. He must have known he'd have the advantage here.

"You're very clever," I call into the darkness. "I'm completely at your mercy."

A wave of sand engulfs me, and for a moment I think my lie must somehow have come true.

Then Toph's hand takes mine, and the earth spits me out.

"That was stupid," she tells me, but she doesn't let me go. With a twist of her heel, the sand becomes granite, trapping our enemy to the waist. I run, reaching him before he can free himself, pinning his arms behind his back. For a moment I think I'm going to have to burn his hands -- not badly, but enough to impair movement for a few days -- when Toph appears at my side and silently hands me her belt. 

With the prisoner immobilised, I grab his chin and force him to look up at me.

"You underestimated Toph," I tell him.

He meets my gaze without fear. I kindle a flame in the palm of my hand and study him. He's younger than I realised, no more than fifteen or sixteen. Yet he wears the uniform of the Dai Li.

"Look, kid," says Toph, "we're not unreasonable. Cooperate, answer our questions, you'll only spend a couple of years in prison."

"Turn traitor, you mean?" His voice breaks when he speaks.

"Or you can carry on like a stupid pig-rat and be charged as an accessory to murder, kidnapping, attempted assault, all that good shit." Toph shrugs, obviously certain she has convinced him.

I'm not so sure. At his age I was still having long conversations with walls, but before that, I was my father's soldier. And I would have endured anything rather than betray him.

I say, "You weren't planning to kill me. Did you really think you could simply carry me off on your own?"

He says nothing.

"Or were you sent to watch June's house?"

He offers no response, but there's a flicker in his eye that tells me I've guessed correctly.

"I see." I sit down on the ground, so that we're roughly eye to eye. "It was supposed to be a safe job. Out of the way. They thought they were looking after you. As if you needed to be coddled when you're as good a bender as any Dai Li. June hasn't come home, but then we turned up. What an amazing chance to prove yourself."

His jaw works. He looks furious, but also defeated.

"Tell me what their goals are," I say. "I admire courage and intelligence. I won't insult you by offering you a place with me, but if you cooperate with us, Toph and I can send you anywhere in the world."

He make a choking sound.

"Name a place. Name a job."

"Azula," says Toph, "something's wrong."

He falls forward, eyes rolling back in his head. His mouth is foaming, but he tries to speak.

He's dead by the time Toph has freed him.

"What did he say?" she asks.

"'Kyoshi will have you.'"


	17. Chapter 17

**Toph**

It must be close to dawn. Outside I can hear movement, the voices of fisherman beginning their days' work.

Inside, there's just the scratch of Police Chief Le's brush on cheap paper, and Azula's breathing.

She hasn't spoken since the boy died.

"Hell of a lot of paperwork," says the chief. He knows me -- I taught his son and daughters earthbending -- which is lucky, because his deputy was predictably unhappy at having two strange women and a corpse to deal with in the middle of the night. "The poison was in a fake tooth. Did anyone tell you?"

"You. Twice."

"It's been a long night."

"You're telling me."

"You two should get some rest. I told my sister to give you a room at her inn. We'll go before the magistrate this afternoon."

It's not like there's anything else we can do here.

Azula takes my hand as we walk.

Le's sister is a widow, older than him but just as unflappable. She looks us over, then sends us to wash, with the promise that she'll have a meal waiting when we come back.

The inn has its own bath, tiny but private. Azula strips without ceremony, scrubs herself clean, and has entered the water before I've even found the towels and robes. I take my time undressing, to show I'm not rattled by her behaviour. I can't even tell if she's watching as I casually put my foot in the pool.

"Ow!"

I snatch my foot out so fast I almost over-balance.

"You heated the water!"

"Yes." Azula's voice is flat.

"You could have burned my foot!" I retreat back to the stools in the washing area, rubbing my tingling toes. "What's wrong with your family? Why do you people always take your crises out on my feet?"

Silence.

I drag the stool over to the pool and sit, waiting for the water to cool. I use the time to brood about Azula and Kyoshi and boys that kill themselves because they think death is the best option they have.

When the water has cooled, I ease myself in and say, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

But her hand finds mine under the water. I wonder if she'd let me give her a hug, but that's not our style, and anyway, the pool is too cramped. I squeeze her fingers instead. Her other hand plays with her hair, twisting and pulling at it. I can hear the strands rubbing against each other. the sound sets my teeth on edge. Without thinking, I snap, "Stop it!"

Azula's hand hits the water with a splash. The silence stretches between us.

"I'm hungry," I say, heaving myself out of the water.

After a moment, she follows me.

Breakfast is rice and pickled fish, what my mother would have called peasant food. I feel like I should say something to Azula, but I'm too exhausted. Even lifting the chopsticks to my mouth is an effort.

Le's sister has set up futons for us. It's a cool morning, but I fall asleep on top of the blankets.

I wake to the sound of Azula's nightmare.

She's making a low keening sound, like a wounded animal, and she's thrashing around like she's trapped.

"Azula?"

The noise stops, but her breathing is ragged. I clamber over to her, and find her still asleep, trapped in her blankets.

She struggles against me as I try to free her, and for a horrible second I think she's going to start firebending in her sleep. Then, just as suddenly, she goes limp, and I get her out of the blankets. She's clammy and smells of sweat, but her breathing is back to normal. Her heart is still racing, and I wonder how I could have ever found her inscrutable.

"Toph?" Her voice is ragged.

"You had a nightmare."

"I know."

She doesn't go into detail, and I don't think I want to know. She takes my hand, and I curl up around her, wrapping my arm around her waist. 

This time, she sleeps soundly.

When I wake up again, I'm alone. It's late in the morning, and I can hear the bustle of the market outside, the cries of fishmongers and the chatter of customers. 

I find Azula outside, watching the people. She stands as I approach.

"Do we have time to eat before we see the magistrate?" I ask.

"If we're quick."

So we eat steamed fish buns and wander through the markets. There's not much to look at, but Azula doesn't seem inclined to sit, and I guess I can't blame her.

We meet Chief Le at the court house, where the town magistrate waits for us in his office. In turn, we dictate bare but truthful accounts of the events of last night to his assistant. As I press my seal into the scroll, Magistrate Wan says, "I'm troubled that the boy as dressed as a Dai Li agent, Lady Bei Fong. May I take it that you will continue to investigate the incident?"

"Absolutely."

"Good. It wouldn't do to have Ba Sing Se investigate its own rogue forces. Do you think these people are likely to return?"

"Maybe," I admit. "June did them a pretty bad turn, not bringing them Azula."

"I've set guards around her house," said Chief Le. "And my people will watch for her return, and warn her of the danger."

"That's good of you."

"She _is_ one of our citizens," says Le, although I know he doesn't really approve of her. Something about the way she sees bar fights as a hobby offends his sense of law and order, and she always beats him at pai sho. 

"I lived in Ba Sing Se during the war," says Magistrate Wan. "I don't care to return to those days."

His voice is directed past me, at Azula.

She says nothing, but his heart rate increases a little, and I think he's sweating. Fear? Anger? 

Chief Le clears his throat and makes polite noises about not taking up any more of the magistrate's time.

"What was that all about?" I ask Azula when we're outside.

"He was an Upper Ring bureaucrat when I took Ba Sing Se."

"What did you do to him?"

"Nothing. He and his colleagues gave me their full cooperation. Then they turned around and did the same for the Order of the White Lotus."

"Well, what did you expect?"

"Nothing different." We're wandering aimlessly out of the town. I can hear the waves crashing on the shore. "I thought I'd go down in history as a great Fire Nation hero. The woman who took Ba Sing Se from inside. Now it's an embarrassment that no one likes to talk about."

"I hope you're not expecting me to feel sorry for you."

"I don't. But … this is not how I thought my life would go."

Too late, I realise that Azula has been leading me back to the place where the boy died. One of the local earthbenders has turned the granite back into sand. Once again, it takes me a few moments to find my footing. Azula draws ahead, walking down to the water.

When I reach her side again she says, "About this morning--"

"Don't worry about it."

"I may have a problem with people who turn children into soldiers."

"I can see that."

She doesn't even make a joke.

"I guess your dad messed you guys up pretty good," I say.

"Yes."

It takes me by surprise when she kisses me. I'm thrown off-balance, but she slides her arms around my waist. The wind is blowing her hair into her face and it gets tangled between us, filling my mouth with the taste of kenanga oil. It's bitter, coating the back of my tongue and throat, but I don't want to let her go.


	18. Chapter 18

**Azula**

We don't talk much on the way home. We're mostly exchanging kisses that promise more. Toph's hand slips inside my robe to trace the outline of the dragon coiled around my shoulder, and I'm almost ready to abandon control and let her have me here in the carriage, with the driver and the ostrich-horse and, for all I know, half the Earth Kingdom listening. 

Instead, I kiss her neck and the lobe of her ear, teasing her the way she teases me.

I am feeling true certainty for the first time in -- is it really only weeks? It seems like years since I was absolutely sure I was making the right decision. Since I came out of the hospital -- or longer -- I've been cautious, always making sure I was acting on my own behalf and not subconsciously following the lessons of my father, or obeying only the broken parts of my mind. I had to watch myself, because everyone else watched me as well. If I was distant from Zuko, it was a sign of betrayal; if I was friendly, it was a lie. 

It's stupid to think I'll have any more freedom here: Toph's position makes her visible, and I am widely hated here. Rightfully, I suppose. And when Zuko finds out, and all the rest of Toph's friends --

She kisses me and says, "I can feel you worrying."

It's typical that one of the Avatar's friends would think she can have a personal life free of political implications.

Nevertheless, I kiss her back and, for a short time, I can let it go.

It's only a few hours to Omashu, but we stop at sunset to eat and change ostrich-horses. Toph drinks rice wine and presses her thigh against mine, her hand brushing my knee. 

No one even looks at us.

We reach the city a couple of hours before midnight. 

"Do you want to stay with me tonight?" Toph asks.

She sounds diffident, which doesn't suit her. Worse, she's trying to be kind to me, because our last attempt at sex ended in embarrassment and awkwardness, and she thinks I need to be nurtured.

I scorch a hole in her shirt with my left hand, over her side where no one will notice, and run a knuckle over her ribs. Toph's breath catches.

"I hope that's a yes," she says.

Toph's apartments in the palace are spacious and austere. No books, of course, but the few decorations are rich and varied in texture: a Water Tribe wall hanging, a carved pai sho tile, a flying lemur formed out of polished stone. The only source of light is the moonlight pouring through the windows. No lamps. Of course. I pause in the middle of the sitting room, suddenly unsure of the etiquette.

"Sit down," says Toph, and she twists her foot and makes the floor move. A chair presses against the backs of my legs. She presses her palm against my chest and pushes, and I fall backwards into the cushions.

"Relax," she tells me, leaning down to kiss me. I pull her into my lap, letting her weight pin me down. She's softer than she looks, her heavy thighs parting slightly as I explore. Her wrist cuffs catch in my hair, and she pulls away, swearing, discarding them. 

"Sorry."

"Don't be," I tell her. I fumble with her shirt, burning right through the knots that hold it closed, and then her pants and underwear, until she is naked but for her metal armband. My flame gutters and dies in my hand, and the moonlight makes her seem almost pale. I trace the dark shadows left by her breasts and run my hand over her belly, down to her thick, black pubic hair. 

"I admire your strength," I tell her.

"Meaning that I'm hot?"

"Do you need to be told?"

Her breasts shake as she laughs. I lean forward and take a nipple in my mouth, and she shifts in my lap, resting a knee between my legs, pressing against me. I make a small, involuntary noise and she grins, taking advantage of my distraction to push me back against the chair, kissing my lips and untying the sash around my waist. 

She makes quick work of my shirt and breast bindings. Toph's hands are calloused, and I close my eyes as she traces her way along my tattoo. She's still pressed against me, and I thrust against her leg and kiss her until her lips are swollen. 

Then she pulls away, climbing out of my lap. I open my eyes, suddenly uncomfortable and ridiculous.

She's -- well, not watching me, but her head is tilted, and she's thinking. 

"Come with me," she says.

I let her lead me into her bedroom. Her bed is a thin mattress on a low base of rock, traditional for the Earth Kingdom, but not my idea of comfort. 

Toph kisses me, her teeth brushing my lower lip.

"Take off your clothes," she says, tugging at my pants. "Keep your boots on."

I raise my eyebrows. "Really?"

Toph shrugs, although I think she might be blushing. "I like the sound they make when you walk." 

When I'm naked -- but for my boots, which are plain Fire Nation military issue, not even in good condition -- she says, "I've decided I want you to fuck me."

For once in my life, I'm speechless. 

From a cabinet she withdraws a smooth marble sphere and a grey sash. She throws the sash in my general direction -- I catch it, just -- and bends the marble into the shape of an erect penis.

"Given that you're blind," I say as she takes the sash out of my hand and loops it through the base she has created in the dildo, "I find myself with some questions."

"Please." She drops to her knees and puts it in place -- automatically, I hold it in position -- and secures the sash around my waist and legs. "Like I don't have -- sources--" 

Her fingers brush mine.

"Do you like it?" she asks.

Yes. 

"I can stand it."

"Some people find it cold at first."

I allow a little heat to escape my fingertips.

"Not a problem," I say.

Toph's eyes widen.

It's heavy, the base resting between my legs, the cock itself standing erect. I should be feeling ridiculous, I think, but instead I feel powerful. And terribly, terribly aroused.

Toph kisses the inside of my thigh, then stands up.

"Comfortable?"

"Yes."

"Good." She lays the heel of her palm on the cock and turns her wrist, and then she has to steady me, because it is inside me, and I am warm and wet and swollen, and so, so full. "Easy," she murmurs as I squeeze my thighs together. "You okay?"

"Yes."

My voice is hoarse.

"Good." She gives me a little push. "Lie down."


	19. Chapter 19

**Toph**

"At some stage," Azula tells me, "we're going to have a talk about giving orders in bed."

"Whatever," I say, pressing her down, "you secretly love it."

"That's--" her hips give an involuntary jerk as I climb on top of her -- "entirely untrue."

"Oh, look, I finally caught you in a lie." I kiss her, pinning her arms by her sides. "I can bind you up if you want. Then you'd have no choice--"

She sends a lightning spark into my left hand, just enough to shock me and free herself.

"No," she says, pushing me onto my back. Her voice is a low growl, her breath hot on my mouth. In a different tone she adds, "Not yet." 

Under the circumstances, I decide not to gloat.

"So fuck me then," I tell her.

She obeys, though she's clumsy at first, still learning the rhythm of our bodies together. It's easier for me; I feel surrounded by her, the heat of her body and the pounding of her pulse. She finds my clit, and my grip on her back feels strong enough to bruise. I wrap my legs around her hips, listening to Azula's light, shallow breathing.

"Let go," I tell her. "It's okay."

To reinforce the point, I bend the marble a little, so that it moves against her clit.

She gasps, pulling her hands away from me.

"Wha--"

"Sorry," she breathes, and I smell scorched fabric. 

"'S okay, 's okay." 

I roll her onto her back, moving against her.

"You all right?" I ask.

"I will be." Her breathing is deeper. 

"Fire Nation sex ed must be pretty exciting."

"I was raised by my father and two elderly non-benders." She grips my ass, and though her fingers are still hot, they're not actually burning me. "I may have missed some fundamentals." 

"And you avoid things that remind you you aren't perfect." 

This time, when heat flares through her hand, I'm pretty sure it's deliberate. I bend the marble again, and she cries out.

This time nothing is set on fire. Prodigy, right. I reward her with another thrust of my hips, then another, just because I like the sound. 

When she comes, she throws her head back and exhales fire, and the contractions around the marble cock reverberate into me, tipping me over the edge.

We lie tangled together for a while. I'm almost asleep when Azula climbs out of bed and heads for the bathroom. 

She comes back smelling of soap and sits beside me. A flame crackles, and she pokes at the burn on my ass.

"Does it hurt?" she asks.

"No worse than a sunburn."

"In the shape of a hand."

"Who's gonna know?"

"Hm." Azula kisses the burn lightly, then curls herself around me, one arm around my waist. "You left bruises on my shoulder."

"That seems fair. You okay?"

"Sore." She traces a pattern on my belly. "I can't say I'm familiar with the applications of earthbending in sex."

"Well," I snuggle against her, "I'll have to teach you."

It's hard to tell, but I think she's smiling.

The sun is high when I wake up. Azula has obviously been up since dawn. Her hair and clothes smell of sunshine, and she's obnoxiously cheerful as she rips my blankets away.

"I hate morning people," I tell her, pulling her into my lap and kissing her.

"Get dressed," she tells me. "We have mail."

There are letters from the Fire Nation for both of us: a thin scroll for me from Zuko, and a whole mass of papers for Azula, sent up from the embassy, all piled up on the desk in my office.

"Your letter comes from the hand of one of Zuko's interchangeable secretaries," Azula tells me, leaning against my desk. "Formal thanks for non-specific services rendered, a vague promise of payment, good wishes, blessings of the Fire Spirit. And Zuko's official seal at the bottom. One could almost take him seriously if one didn't know better."

"We don't write much down," I say. "It's not like my mail's private."

"Of course. To me, on the other hand," Azula breaks the seal on the scroll, "ah. He is outraged that I wondered if Mai had tried to have me killed--"

"You accused Mai of--"

"--Or at least, there's a great deal of 'how could you' and talk about her delicate condition, and now she's confined to bed rest until she gives birth. Some business about his fear of another premature stillbirth -- is he asking for my sympathy? Does he know me at all? And, at the very bottom, relief that I'm alive and unharmed." I hear a rustle as she turns the page over. "I know Zuzu doesn't express himself well, but that was a new low."

"Stress is bad for him. Everyone says so. Who else wrote?"

"Mai. _She_ says that if she had wanted me dead, she'd have done it quietly and efficiently and I wouldn't have escaped, but as it happens, she values my work and occasionally finds my company bearable." Azula sounds happy. "For Mai, that's practically a declaration of love."

"She sounds calmer than Zuko."

"Well, she goes on to say that she's bored out of her mind, and if Zuko doesn't stop hovering she's going to become a regicide."

"Nice." 

"And she has her people tracking down the source of the rumours that started this business in the first place. If they're in the Fire Nation, she'll find them." Azula puts the scroll down. "The last one is from my mother."

"If it's personal you don't have to--"

"She says she is relieved I'm all right, and attaches a summary of all the major political machinations that have taken place since I left the capital."

I open my mouth, but it takes a minute to form words. "Seriously?"

"Toph," says Azula patiently, "she's my mother. She was raised to be the consummate politician. Just because she prefers to spend her time with Piandao in the provinces doesn't mean she isn't extraordinarily dangerous to the wrong people."

"The wrong people being anyone who hurts you?"

"Touching, isn't it?"

I try to imagine my mother doing anything for me. She didn't even argue when Dad had me kidnapped. A couple of years ago she told me that more than anything else, she wishes I'd go back to the way I was before I left home. That was the last time I spoke to her.

"Don't worry," says Azula, mistaking my silence, "my mother will like you. You're Zuzu's friend, after all. She might even approve."

I'm touched, and also kind of embarrassed. I punch her in the arm, and she takes my hand, and then, because the universe wants me to suffer, there is a knock at the door.

"A letter for you, Lady Bei Fong," says the messenger. 

"It's from your secretary," says Azula when we're alone again. "She's found Long Feng."


	20. Chapter 20

**Azula**

I hate Ba Sing Se. Everything about the city reminds me of failure and shame, and not even Toph's presence at my side can relieve the tension I feel.

Long Feng lives and works in the Middle Ring. Under the name Wu Ling he runs a book store and lives in the apartment above it. His neighbours think he's hard-working, unremarkable, a little dull. We watch him for a day, long enough to confirm Mi Ja's intelligence: he lives alone and, other than his customers, sees few people.

He has fallen a long way since he was the de facto leader of Ba Sing Se, but this is a better life than he knew as a child. I don't waste any pity on him. He escaped Fire Nation custody less than a day after I left Ba Sing Se, and now he lives a life of comfort. 

As the sun sets and the other merchants begin to close up, I nudge Toph. She grins and stands up, flexing her feet. I pull the hood my dark green cloak over my head and follow her across the street. 

"I'm closed," calls Long Feng as we enter. He looks the same as he ever did, impassive and unmemorable, but his clothes are cheaper, his voice a little rougher.

"That's okay," says Toph, striding forward, "I'm not really into books."

"Bei Fong. What an unexpected pleasure." His gaze flicks towards me, trying to see past the hood. "I understood you were based in Omashu."

"I get around," says Toph. "For example, when people start sending reports of a Dai Li resurgence, I take an interest."

"Don't be ridiculous. The Dai Li are gone. You and your friends saw to that."

"Yeah, and I guess most of your people went off and became decent citizens." Toph sits down, putting her dirty feet up on a pile of books. "But there's always a few traditionalists, right? People who look back over two hundred and fifty years of power and don't see the point of giving it up. So now we have a kidnapping, two murders and a kid who took poison rather than betray your old cronies."

"I know nothing of this."

"No?" I march forward, throwing back my hood. Long Feng's eyes widen. "You don't expect us to believe that you have no allies? No old friends?"

"I live quietly," he says. "I'd be surprised if more than three people know I'm even alive." His smile holds a hint of a sneer. "Excepting yourselves, of course."

Toph lays a hand on my arm: she thinks he's telling the truth.

I pull away.

"You look well," he tells me. "I'd heard you were confined in some mad-house."

"Rumours and lies."

"I always found the stories hard to believe."

"How kind." 

I advance, forcing him back into his chair so that he has to look up at me. 

"Tell me about mindbending," I say.

"The technique is lost. We destroyed everything after the Avatar attacked our base."

"Without leaving yourselves the option of rebuilding? That's not like you, Long Feng."

"Maybe you didn't know me as well as you thought."

I lash out, a fire whip encircling his head. I let it draw closer, singing his hair, before I let the flame die.

"Azula," Toph warns, but I ignore her.

"Your mindbenders knew their work. You concealed them from the Council of Five and from me, but they never stopped working for you. So tell me what you want with me, and maybe I'll let you live."

"Azula!"

Long Feng laughs at me.

It's a rich, low belly-laugh, and it grates on my nerves until I want to watch him burn alive. But I wait.

"You," he gasps, wiping his eyes, "it was you she had?"

"Who is she?" Toph demands, at the same time as I say, "What did she want with me?"

"I don't know who she is. Some woman. The mindbender, Xie, came to me six months ago and told me of this plan. But he was the last of them, and he died at the end of summer. He said she wanted to start another war."

"Why?" says Toph. "How?"

The corners of Long Feng's mouth turn up.

"Maybe you should be asking the princess," he says.

I throw myself at him, fire at my fingertips. He blocks me with his bare hands, so I kick him in the stomach and, as he reels back, hurl a flame at his face.

He shields himself with stone, but then Toph moves, pinning him in place with the metal from her ankle and wrist cuffs. I put my boot on his chest and lean forward, cupping a flame in my hand.

"Tell me," I say.

"That's the extent of my knowledge."

I bring the flame closer to his face.

"Who is the woman?"

"I have no idea."

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Toph nod.

"Why would she want another war?" she asks. 

"I don't know." Long Feng draws breath. He seems peaceful now, almost limp, but I lean a little harder on his chest, letting him know I'm not dropping my guard. "Maybe she thinks this time we'll win."

I snort. "I'm sorry, you think the Avatar's peace was a victory for the Fire Nation?"

His eyes are cold.

"Before Sozin began his war, the Eath Kingdom dominated the world. Maybe she thinks it's time to return to the old ways."

I turn away, setting a bookshelf aflame. 

Long Feng laughs.


	21. Chapter 21

**Toph**

Azula only leaves Long Feng's shop because I drag her out.

"I could have learned more," she says when we pause for breath at the top of the Lower Ring.

"He told us everything he knew," I snap. "And his shop was burning down."

We fled just before the fire brigade arrived on the scene. I don't think Long Feng is going to endanger his own position by turning us in, but I feel like a note of apology to the local police chief might be in order. If I can persuade Azula to write it for me.

We stop to eat at a ramen bar. At least, I eat, and Azula plays with her chopsticks and says, "I wasn't finished with him."

"I know. He was still breathing."

"Meaning?"

"If I hadn't pulled you out, the only person who can testify about this stupid conspiracy would be dead. Again."

"I don't know anything about another war." Azula keeps her voice low, although no one pays attention here. "The Fire Nation doesn't have the resources for another one. We were already stretched to breaking point when the Comet came."

"I believe you," I say. "But if they thought you could be used to start--"

"No one uses me," Azula snaps.

"Right."

Azula eats a little, then says, "Of course, the mindbenders might have conditioned me to forget."

"Yeah."

"I did want to kill Long Feng. I didn't have a goal or a plan, I just wanted him to die."

"That's not like you."

"It's not." She pushes her bowl away. "I can't eat this."

We pay and leave. The streets are still busy, and we wander sort of aimlessly through the crowds. I take Azula's hand.

It's a cool evening, and the air smells of rain, mixed in with the scents of people and food and waste that represent Ba Sing Se for me..

I am thinking: how do you start a war? I mean, it's an easy thing to say, but I'm friends with some of the most powerful people in the world -- and I know _exactly_ how to make them mad -- and I still can't figure out what you'd have to do to get them all to set aside the treaties and agreements we've all worked out and go back to the way it was ten years ago. The Earth King is mostly concerned with rebuilding the colonies the Fire Nation returned. Zuko would sooner cut off his own head than follow in his ancestors' footsteps. And the Water Tribes depend on everyone else for trade.

Not to mention that Aang would -- well, I have no idea what he'd do if he thought there was another war building. But I don't think he'd stop at brewing tea and getting everyone to hold hands and sing. 

"No. That's exactly what he'd do?"

"I'm sorry?" asks Azula.

"How would you start a war?" 

"Well, there are certainly elements within the Earth Kingdom who feel the Fire Nation's reparations were inadequate. I'd start by organising and arming them. Then I'd destabilise the Fire Nation by causing dissent among the provincial governors. A few minor skirmishes along their borders would force Zuko to send in the army, which would put all the other governors on their guard. Then -- oh, I suppose I'd assassinate a couple of key people. The Earth King, maybe. Or someone close to the Avatar, so he'd have a reason to fight, even if he didn't want to. After that, I'd just sit back and watch."

She delivers all this in a light, airy tone, like she's ordering a new set of winter robes. 

"You're a little scary sometimes," I tell her.

"Yes," she says. "But I see no purpose in starting a war. To put myself in Zuko's place? I have more freedom now than I ever did as a princess."

"But if it's not for your own personal benefit--"

"Why else would I do anything so extreme?"

"You could control the Earth Kingdom?"

"Been there. Done that. It was dull. Honestly," says Azula, and though I have no proof, only instinct, I do think she's being honest, "I found that I didn't enjoy that kind of power. The days I spent as Fire Lord were the very worst of my life."

She sounds brittle and unhappy. I pull her into an embrace, ignoring the cat-calls of some passing children. She's stiff, but she doesn't push me away. 

"It's okay," I tell her. "We're going to find the people responsible for this, and we're going to make them wish their ancestors were never born."

Azula kisses me.

"Thank you."

"Maybe you need to get drunk," I suggest half-heartedly.

"I don't drink."

"We could visit Iroh?"

" _No_." We walk on a little way, and she says, "The curious thing is, according to my mother's letter, someone _has_ been stirring up the provincial governors. Isn't that a coincidence?"

I don't know what to say.

The airship back to Omashu doesn't leave until dawn. In the end we go back to the guesthouse near the docks and crawl into the too-small bed. I want to pin Azula down and make her see how strong I am, but her kisses are distracted, almost mechanical. In the end I lay my head on her chest and let her trace patterns on my arms.

A couple of hours after midnight she says, "Are you asleep?"

"Not really."

"If I lost control, would you take me down?"

"Sure."

"Toph--"

"I didn't actually need to think about it," I tell her. "If I think you're a danger to me, or my friends, or whatever, I'll stop you. Won't even hesitate."

"Good," she says. "I appreciate that."

We're tired and cranky by the time we get back to Omashu. I stop by my office just long enough to confirm that Mi Ja is back, and that no crises have broken out while we were away. She wants to fill me in on everything she's learned about the Dai Li in the last few weeks, but I interrupt her flow of words to say, "Is there anything here that absolutely can't wait a few hours?"

"No," she says, a little sadly.

"Good." I punch her lightly in the arm. "I'll see you later."

Only there's not going to be any rest today, because when I reach my rooms, Azula's not alone. 

"Hi, Toph," says Sokka. "Please, for the love of spirits and my own peace of mind, tell me this is an elaborate joke and that you're not actually sleeping with Azula."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And THAT is the end of part 2! Part 3 still needs some work, but look for it in the near future, spare time and health permitting.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are! The beginning of the end!
> 
> Many, MANY thanks to TeraJK for reading over the draft and pointing out the bits that needed fixing. She is magnificent.

**Azula**

"No?" says Toph. "Wait, you weren't asking me to lie, were you?"

In fairness to Sokka, I don't think he was expecting to see me. Certainly I hadn't expected to find Toph's sitting room already occupied. He's lucky I didn't attack him on sight. 

Not that I'm going to tell him this, not when he looks like he's one step away from exploding. His gaze flicks between Toph and me, and if he were armed, he'd be reaching for a weapon. As it is, he doesn't quite seem to know what to do with his hands. 

I'd laugh, but I'm not sure anyone else would see the funny side.

Instead, I seat myself on the chair beside the window and sit back to watch the show.

"I -- she -- you --"

"Yes," says Toph.

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Her?"

"None other."

"Zuko's sister? Zuko's crazy, murderous, city-conquering, Aang-killing sister?"

I raise my hand. "I am right here, you know."

Sokka advances on me. I remain in my chair and keep my face impassive.

"What do you want with Toph?" he demands.

I briefly consider telling him, in detail, but settle for saying, "That's hardly any business of yours."

"She's my friend--"

"Then maybe," I throw my leg over the chair's arm so he can see how indifferent I am, "you should respect her choices, instead of carrying on like I've seduced your virgin daughter."

"I wish," Toph mutters, and for a moment Sokka and I are united in speechlessness. 

Then he says, "I don't trust you."

"That's fair."

"And I don't think you're good for Toph."

"That's not really your problem."

"Of course it's not. Until you've gotten whatever you want out of her, and her friends have to pick up the pieces."

"Sokka," says Toph quietly, "seriously, you don't need to protect me."

"I don't want you to be hurt."

"Please, like she even could."

Sokka looks between us for a few moments, obviously struggling for words. Then he leads Toph into a corner and they have a long discussion in low, urgent tones. Sokka mimes explosions and what I assume is death, or possibly it's just a re-enactment of the Ember Island Players' rendition of _The Phoenix Dance_. Toph crosses her arms and looks unimpressed.

I should have foreseen this. All of Zuko's friends seem over-protective and smothering to me, but the Water Tribe siblings are the worst. I remember how easy he was to manipulate as a teenager. Now he's a man, taller and more confident, with beads in his hair and a beard like a barbarian, but that nurturing instinct remains. 

I wonder if he'd even believe me if I told him that I don't want to hurt Toph.

I'm not sure I can believe it myself.

"--And Zuko says--"

"This is ridiculous," I say, standing up. "Sokka, if you want to play the role of Toph's father you're welcome to try. Good luck finding a metal box strong enough to hold her. Toph," she looks up at me with a flat, unhappy expression on her face. I bite back the more cutting things I was going to say. "I'm going out."

I sweep out of the room and leave them behind.


	23. Chapter 23

**Toph**

As soon as Azula's out of the room Sokka says, "See? That was a low blow."

And I snap. Because it _was_ cruel, and it did hurt, and it was aimed at driving a wedge between me and my friends. And worse, it was uncalculated and off-hand, because striking at vulnerable points is one of Azula's talents. 

And worst of all, it's working, because I'm mad at Azula, but right now most of my rage is for Sokka.

"Yeah," I say, "thanks, I'd never have noticed if it wasn't for you. Next you can hold my hand while I go down a staircase. Or, I don't know, tell me I'm too stupid to know who I really want to be with! Because I'm blind and defenceless, and absolutely at Azula's mercy. Is that what you were about to say?"

"Kind of," says Sokka, and he doesn't sound angry, just sad and ashamed. "I'm sorry. I know you don't need protecting."

"Damn straight."

"I'm just surprised."

"Well," I sink into the chair that Azula vacated, "so was I, really."

"Has she changed?" he asks. " _Can_ she change? Because I know you can take care of yourself, but you shouldn't have to. And Azula's always been bad news."

"It's been ten years. We've all changed."

"I guess so." In a lighter tone he says, "But seriously, you have the worst taste in women of anyone I have ever met."

"Sure, like you don't love women who could kill you with two chopsticks and her little finger."

"Suki," says Sokka with dignity, "may be able to, but she never would." Before I can rise to the defence of Azula, or June, or Atka, or any of my other girlfriends, he adds, "Does Zuko know yet?"

"I don't think so."

"Oh boy. I really hope I'm there when he finds out. It'll be better than June. His face is going to turn so many colours!"

"I hope he makes that choking noise again."

"We'd better make sure Katara's around in case he actually does have a heart attack this time."

"Oh yeah, like Katara's not going to be freaking out herself."

"In fairness," says Sokka, "Azula did try to kill her. And she killed Aang that time."

"I know."

"This is going to be awkward, isn't it? Suki's not going to be a fan either. No pun intended." 

"Are you?" I ask, serious now. "Really?"

"I … trust your judgment," says Sokka at last. "Whatever you want, I'll support you." 

"Really?"

"To the end," he promises. "But if Azula so much as looks at you wrong--" 

I sigh. "Sokka, did you just finish a sentence with a gesture?"

"Yes," he says, unabashed. "It promised a world of pain if Azula hurts you. And don't look like that. I'd do the same for Katara if Aang ever messed up."

"Fair enough," I say. 

"So," he says, "does this thing with Azula have anything to do with your letter to Suki? Because you didn't really include many explanations there."

"Oh, right." 

I fill him in on everything that's happened, from Ambassador Di Ling's request and Azula's rescue to Long Feng's taunts.

At the end, Sokka just says, "You've got to stop having adventures without us."

"I don't know how we used to do it. I just want to crawl into bed and sleep for a week."

"Do you really think Azula's okay?"

I pull my knees up to my chest. 

"'Okay' is kind of relative, I think," I say eventually. "She's pretty messed up. She really was crazy when she was younger. I mean, actually sick, I think."

"And now?"

"I think she'd know if she wasn't in her right mind." Probably.

"Would she tell you?"

"Yes," I say. Maybe not in words, I don't bother adding, but I'd know. 

"Good," says Sokka. He reaches for the papers he had earlier. "So the whole reason I'm here is that Suki figured it would be easier to tell you all this in person, rather than writing it down. She thinks she knows who your mysterious Kyoshi Warrior might be."


	24. Chapter 24

**Azula**

I wind up in one of the smaller courtyards. It's warm and peaceful, the stones reflecting the bright morning sunlight. I sit in the very centre of the square and try to meditate.

I know myself. I know my weaknesses. I've overcome my father's legacy. I am not who I was. 

I try to let go, to concentrate on my breathing and the sleeping spark of fire within me. I am safe. I am in control. I am--

I am bound hand and foot. There is a light shining in my eyes, and a woman's voice telling me I belong to her. I'm dizzy with exhaustion, and everything around me seems distorted and unreal. There was something in the food, I think, because the alternative is that I've gone mad again. 

"Azula," she says. "Azula, are you listening?"

She moves towards me, becoming a faceless silhouette as she stands between me and the light. Her hand cups my cheek and she traces my lips. I can't make out her features, but I can smell her make-up. 

I inhale, and for a second I'm somewhere else, trying to keep from smiling as Ty Lee paints my face for the first time. She's close enough that I can feel her breath on my cheek, and, not for the first time, I wonder what she would do if I kissed her.

The woman moves, and the blinding light brings me back to this place.

"What do you want with me?" I ask.

"I need your strength, Azula," she says. She is behind me now, her voice a whisper in my ear. I turn my head, and my noses brushes against her cheek. She cups the back of my head, holding me there. 

When she kisses me, she tastes of greasepaint.

"You've been used as a tool all your life, haven't you?" she says, something like pity in her voice. "First your father, then your brother. And now me."

She lets go of me at last, and I stumble against the railing. I'd fall to my knees if my wrists weren't bound. 

"Well," she says, and her voice is cold again. Back to business. "I can't say you deserve any better." 

"I don't understand."

"You don't need to." She moves to my side, and even with the bright light and deep shadows, the contempt in her eyes is clear. "You're my revenge, Azula. My revenge on everyone." 

Her make-up cracks as she smiles, but the expression doesn't reach her eyes.

"I know you," I say. "I know you--"

"Azula?"

I open my eyes. Toph is standing over me, Sokka a little way behind her. 

"Are you okay?" she asks, reaching for me. "It's like you were a million miles away."

"I remember now," I tell her. "I remember the woman in the caverns." I look up at her, blinking in the sunlight. "Her name is Joo Dee."


	25. Chapter 25

**Toph**

Sokka takes a step back, then changes his mind and comes forward. I throw out an arm to stop him in his tracks. I don't need to be protected from Azula, and she doesn't need him standing over her.

"Come on," I tell her, "you should come inside." She takes my hand and I pull her to her feet.

Azula lets go of me only to eat, and responds to Sokka's questions with monosyllables. Finally I tell him to stop.

"She's thinking."

Mi Ja comes in as the plates are being cleared away. It sounds like she's carrying paper. A lot of it. 

Finally, Azula says, "I don't know which of the Joo Dees she was, but she's angry at the world, and this is her revenge. Her allies think she's restoring the honour of the Earth Kingdom, but they're just sacrifices. Whatever the outcome of her war, the people who started it could never go unpunished."

"But she means you to start it," I say.

"Of course. It's not merely a revenge on the Dai Li." 

"Sounds like you admire her." 

"However events unfold, the people responsible for her pain will suffer." 

"Well, no wonder you like her," says Sokka. "Who doesn't love a really good plan where everyone suffers?" Without being asked, he refills my tea cup. "So much for the great and powerful Dai Li, though. Taken down by a bunch of kids, then they're treated like puppets by a teenage girl and one of their own servants."

"Don't underestimate her," Azula tells him. "She's had a long time to plan this. Since the Dai Li fell, I suppose, or whenever her conditioning wore off. I wonder who she was before?"

"Her name was Aiko," I say. "And she was a Kyoshi Warrior." 

Azula doesn't quite laugh; it's more of a bitter exhalation. "Tell me," she says.

"It's Sokka's story, really."

"There's not much to it," he says. "Toph's letter reminded Suki that when she was about eight, a group of warriors left Kyoshi Island for Ba Sing Se. They wanted to play a part in the war. The other warriors and leaders disagreed, but they allowed these six women to go."

"And Aiko?"

"She was the second-in-command of the Kyoshi Warriors. It was her idea to go and fight for the Earth Kingdom." Sokka unrolls a piece of paper and passes it to Azula. 

"Yes," she says. "That's her." The paper rustles, like it's being clenched. "How old was she when she left?"

"Eighteen."

I can't tell what Azula is thinking. I put my hand on her arm, but she's in control and unreadable. 

"According to Aiko's last letter home," says Sokka, "the Earth King's regents were trying to forbid them from going to war--"

"Typical Ba Sing Se sexism," I throw in.

"--and they were going to meet with the Dai Li." 

We sit in silence, considering the implications of that.

"We messed up," I say at last. "We should have taken time to figure out what was going to happen with the Dai Li and everything else they touched."

"I know," says Sokka. "We thought we were giving Ba Sing Se a happy ending. We left the door wide open for this."

"We should have at least looked after the Joo Dees. We knew what they were doing to those women."

"Oh, get over it."

Azula's voice is flat. Sokka makes a little sputtering noise, but she ignores him. 

"You miscalculated," she says. "Now you have to deal with the consequences. Acknowledge your mistake, accept it, fix it and move on."

"You sound like Aang," Sokka says.

"I can't afford to look back. Neither can the Avatar."

The awkward silence that follows is broken by Mi Ja nervously saying, "I do know what happened to the Joo Dees. If you were wondering."

"I am," I say." 

"Right." Her voice grows a little stronger and she shuffles her papers. "From everything Toph told me, I thought it might be worthwhile to investigate women associated with the Dai Li. Which naturally brought me to the Joo Dees.

"That program started about forty years ago, when the fiftieth Earth King decided the incoming refugees were causing disruption and unrest. They wanted people to greet newcomers and teach them how the city worked, and I guess they thought women would seem more … welcoming. The first generation were volunteers, and people called them Joo Dee because they were supposed to represent the generic Ba Sing Se woman."

"Figures," I say.

"Then, about thirty years ago, the Dai Li discovered mindbending. No one knows who,exactly, but one witness I spoke to thinks it started accidentally, maybe from watching prisoner interrogations. Anyway, there had never been enough volunteers for the Joo Dee job, and this seemed like an ideal solution." Mi Ja's voice is heavy with distaste. "They rounded up the women the Dai Li regarded as subversive or dangerous -- the Lower Ring prostitutes, addicts, unmarried mothers, outspoken refugees--"

"And Kyoshi Warriors who threatened the status quo," says Azula bitterly.

"Exactly."

"I should have burned the city to the ground."

I can't find it in me to disagree.

"After the Avatar and his friends destabilised the Dai Li," Mi Ja continues, "most of the Joo Dees stayed as they were. Mindbending is powerful, and most of them were happy. I guess." She sounds doubtful. "Anyway, they had no reason to fight their programming. Another branch of the government took over the administration, started paying them proper wages, all that stuff. Most of the Joo Dees still live in the city. I met with a couple. They seemed content."

"Well, they would," I say.

"It was strange," Mi Ja admits. "But who am I to say whether a person is really happy or not? Only, as far as I can tell, most of the Joo Dees who married are with former Dai Li agents."

"Okay," says Sokka, " _that_ is weird. I'm right to be creeped out by that, aren't I?"

"Absolutely," I say. 

"Tell us about the ones that got away," Azula orders.

"There weren't many. Less than ten, I think. Refugees, mothers, fighters, women with strong wills. But there are only rumours."

"And how," says Azula, "does one fight the mindbending?"


	26. Chapter 26

**Azula**

Toph's secretary looks blank.

"I don't know," she says apologetically. 

"Katara got through to Jet with water healing," offers Sokka.

Before I can tell him that I'd rather kill myself than have that woman near me, Toph says, "Yeah, but Long Feng still activated him with a phrase."

"Right, a phrase!" Sokka points at me. "The Earth King invites you to Lake Laogai."

I raise my eyebrows.

"Nothing?"

"I don't think that was it," says Toph. "And it wouldn't be that, anyway. 'Avatar Kyoshi--' what was it that boy said?"

"This is ridiculous." I stand up.

"I don't think it's a good idea to play with trigger phrases," says Toph's secretary. She gives me an apologetically fearful look. "We don't know what she's programmed to do."

"If anything," says Sokka.

"I'm sorry?" I say.

"It's the perfect decoy! We run around worrying about you, and while we're distracted, someone poisons Zuko's fire flakes or whatever."

"It won't be Zuko," I say. "Whatever I'm meant to do, killing him won't start another war with the Earth Kingdom. I don't think anyone would even be surprised if I murdered him."

"But what if we're dealing with really stupid--"

"I never underestimate my enemies." Despite the obvious temptation before me, I don't add. 

"Look," says Toph, "I don't know about you, Sokka, but we've hardly slept since yesterday. Let's get a few hours' rest and try this again later."

"Thanks," I say when we're alone, the door to Toph's apartments closed behind us.

"Sokka's willing to give you a chance. I didn't want you blowing it."

"So little faith."

"So much common sense." Toph kisses me, then begins to undo my shirt. "On the floor?" she asks. "I want to see you properly."

I lie on my stomach, letting the afternoon sun warm me as Toph explores my tattoo, examining each inked scale with her fingertips. 

She takes her time, and I keep still, my arousal growing. Toph laughs when she realises how wet I am, and then proceeds to ignore it, which only increases my frustration. I want to squeeze my thighs together, but she just says, "No," and continues with her study of the tattoo at my knee.

When she has reached my ankle she says, "Now roll over," and she traces the ink around my breast, up to my shoulder.

"Now?" I ask.

She brushes a finger over my clit. Then she stops, smiling, and says, "Me first."

"Fuck you."

"Exactly." She's peeling her clothes off. "With your mouth, please."

"Only because I enjoy it." 

"Less talking." She sighs as I press my lips against her. "Harder. Like that. Yes. No, no, don't slow down." She pulls my hair, but I just slow my pace further, making her suffer the way I am. Toph complains until she's out of breath, until her words have given way to incoherent noises. When she finally comes, it's with a shuddering force that sends ripples through the floor.

I sit up, wiping my mouth,admiring the way she looks, splayed and sated in the sunlight.

"I can't move," she says. "Come here."

"I might as well do everything myself."

"Some other time. And only if you tell me all about it." 

She pushes me into place, straddling her belly, and she grins as she slips her fingers inside me. 

"You okay?" she asks, but her thumb is pressing against my clit, and I can't find words. "I'll take that as a yes." 

She steadies me as I come, her other hand on my hip, and I fall forward, pinning her to the ground and kissing her. 

"Where you going?" she asks sleepily as I get up.

"I'm not built for sleeping on the floor."

"Huh. Suit yourself."

I'm still smiling as I fall asleep.

In my dream, I'm on Kyoshi Island, a place I've never visited in my life. Yet somehow I know it, as if I came here when I was very young. The air is cold, the southerly winds carrying a bitter polar chill. We stand outside a shrine. 

"I wish I could show you my home in person," Aiko says. "I never appreciated it until I left."

"Why didn't you come back after you escaped the Dai Li?"

"I've been waiting for the right moment."

"That's an excuse," I tell her.

"You know all about excuses."

I am on the ground, Father's boot pressing against my chest, his hands burning my clothes and flesh.

"How hard did you work to justify what he did?" Aiko asks.

"I was fourteen."

"You made more excuses for him than you ever did for yourself." She looks down at me. "You disappoint me, Azula."

"Good."

"Now you're being petulant." She pats my cheek. "Don't look like that. Not long now."

I wake up as the sun is setting, so tense and tired that I may as well have not slept at all.

"You okay?" Toph asks. 

"Aiko will be on Kyoshi Island for the anniversary," I tell her. "That's where I'm going to take her down."


	27. Chapter 27

**Toph**

Technically the anniversary of the Avatar's return was around now, almost ten years to the day since Katara and Sokka found a mysterious boy in an iceberg. But no one wanted to visit the Southern Water Tribe in winter, so the official celebrations were organised for Kyoshi Island, where word had first spread of Aang's return.

"I still think this is a bad idea," Sokka says.

"Are you going to keep complaining until we arrive?" Azula asks. 

"Yes. Then Suki can take over for me."

We sent a letter, warning Suki of our situation and our plan, but that message is only a few hours ahead of us. No time for Suki to say, _Absolutely not, there is no way you are letting Azula set foot on Kyoshi Island_.

As far as I'm concerned, that's perfectly fine. Sokka, on the other hand--

He shifts closer to me and says, "Are you absolutely sure Azula's not under some sort of mind control?"

"Positive," I tell him. 

"So you can tell when she's lying?"

"My earthsight couldn't tell me when Jet was being controlled." It's not precisely an answer to his question, but I don't think he'd take it well if he knew that, no, I was going on blind -- heh -- trust. 

Over the noise of the airship, I hear Azula unfolding a piece of paper. It's already worn from being folded and carried in her robes.

"Are you worried about Mai?" Sokka asks. 

"I expect I'll be out of a job if she dies."

Azula's voice has that cold, precise tone that I think means she's lying, maybe even to herself. I'm not sure. She's been quiet ever since the messenger from the embassy arrived, bearing a letter from her mother that reported that Mai had gone into labour. I don't know if she's two months early or three, but this isn't the first time. I'm sure Mai will be okay -- she always was before -- but losing another kid has to be hard on her and Zuko. The baby was alive when Ursa was writing her letter, but she did not, Azula said, sound hopeful. 

And that's all Azula has said on the subject of her baby nephew and her oldest friend. 

I find her hand and squeeze it, and she relaxes just a little. 

It's mid-morning when we land on Kyoshi. Suki's waiting for us at the airfield, every step vibrating with rage. 

"This," she tells Sokka, "is unacceptable."

He mutters something about it all being in my hands. Coward. 

But she does seem less angry as she turns to me and says, "This had better be good, Toph."

"The leader of your lost Kyoshi Warriors wants to get revenge on the Earth Kingdom and the Fire Nation by using Azula as a tool to start a new war."

"She," from the sound of things, Suki is staring at Azula, "is the kidnap victim you mentioned?"

"Yup."

Suki's quiet for a moment, before a choking noise escapes from her pursed lips. She howls with laughter, phrases like "poetic justice" and "couldn't happen to a nicer person" mixed with her giggles. 

"Suki, this is serious!" I tell her, but she just drops to her knees and clutches the ground, still laughing. 

When she's finally calm -- aside from occasional explosions -- she says, "Fine. Okay, I can see how that's a big deal. Come to the meeting house and tell me everything."

As we make our way into the main town, I notice we're being accompanied by other warriors. They're keeping their distance, but I can sense their footsteps, and the way they're all armed and ready to move. 

"Quite the welcome party," Azula murmurs.

"Are you surprised?"

"I'd be more concerned if they weren't being careful."

When we reach the meeting house, the Kyoshi Warriors take positions at either side of the doors. I identify Ty Lee by her light tread, standing behind Azula. She's nervous, a bit unsure. 

Azula is unreadable. 

We're joined by Oyaji, and then we go through the explanations all over again, from the reports of military activity on the south-western coast to my involvement, our inquiries at Ba Sing Se and Sokka's arrival with the identification of Azula's Kyoshi Warrior coupled with Azula's recovered memory.

Oyaji lets Suki ask most of the questions: was there any sign of the rest of Aiko's group; were the Dai Li agents truly under her command, or is she still a tool; and always, over and over again, are we sure about her goals?

Azula gives curt answers: no, yes, absolutely. I can't tell if she's quiet because she's nervous, or if she's just restraining her instinctive desire to sneer at Suki. It doesn't matter in the end, because finally, Suki says, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I believe you."

"I'm touched," says Azula.

"Only because Toph trusts you," Suki adds a bit more sharply. "And because I want to know what happened to Aiko and the rest of her team."

Oyaji lays down some rules: Azula has to be accompanied at all times by a Kyoshi Warrior, or Sokka, or me. If she sees Aiko, she's to tell us, and under no circumstances is she to be left alone with Aiko, or anyone else who is not a resident of Kyoshi Island. 

Unspoken is the fear that Aiko will manage to trigger Azula, turning her into the catalyst for the new war. 

I remember my promise to take her down, and shiver. 

Azula's first bodyguard is Ty Lee. At first I think it's cruel of Suki to assign her the job, but she relaxes as soon as she gets her orders. I guess the anticipation was worse. She accompanies us to an inn, chattering about the quality of the food and the growing popularity of Fire Nation-style spices, and finally, over a meal of raw fish and rice, she says, "Your aura is very blue, Azula. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," says Azula. "Aside from being the target of a madwoman and forced to endure strangers as bodyguards."

"I'm not a stranger."

"No."

The silence stretches awkwardly between us. I'm on the verge of breaking it with a really loud burp when Azula says, "Have you heard from Mai?"

"Not for a couple of weeks."

"Here." She pulls the letter out from her robe. Ty Lee makes a noise of dismay as she reads it. 

"Poor Mai. Poor baby."

"It's not dead yet."

"Azula!"

"You should visit after this is over." Azula throws out the offer like she's conceding defeat. "She'll want to see you."

"Will you go off and hide on Ember Island again?"

"I do not hide," Azula bites out. "I just didn't want to see you."

Ty Lee doesn't answer, but I think she's smiling. 

"You look well, Azula," she says. "I think Toph's good for you."

"Don't patronise me," Azula says, but she, too, has a smile in her voice. 

We fall asleep quickly that night, cuddled under heavy blankets and lulled by the distant waves. 

Azula wakes screaming.


	28. Chapter 28

**Azula**

It's still dark, and for a second I think I'm still in my nightmare. But no: Toph is shaking me awake, holding me in place, and finally I can draw breath.

"What's happening to me?" I ask, and my voice cracks. 

"It's just a bad dream," she says.

This is how it started the first time, with nightmares that followed me into the waking hours, and the terrible uncertainty. 

"You'd think it would be easier the second time," I say.

"You're not going mad," Toph tells me. "You're under a lot of pressure, and sorry, but you're only human." 

We sit together until I have control of myself again. The eastern sky is getting lighter. 

"There's no point going back to sleep," I say. "Come for a walk?"

"Like I have a choice," Toph grumbles, and I remember Suki's rules. Such a petty revenge for my crimes, but I'll wear it with grace simply because they expect me not to. 

We wind up on the beach, watching the fishing boats set out from the nearby docks. I wonder if Aiko used to come down here when she couldn't sleep.

"What were you dreaming about?" Toph asks. 

"Nothing." A shrine collapsing as the earth swallows me whole, Aiko waiting somewhere in those passages, always moving, always just beyond my reach. A narrow cave that turns into a path through darkened woods.

"I can't remember," I say.

"Maybe that's a good sign." Toph slips her arm around my waist, and we head back towards the town.

We eat breakfast with Sokka, in the house he shares with Suki, although she left for the dojo at dawn. He and Toph talk about their friends and debate the merits of Yu Dao metalwork versus the work of Toph's former metalbending students. I stayed on the edges, eating and listening and trying to picture the Avatar's allies as anything other than former enemies. 

Suki arrives in mid-morning. She bears a letter from Zuko, confirming that he will be arriving on Kyoshi Island the day before the celebrations begin. The conversation turns to my brother and his troubles, and I tell myself that I only care for the sake of the dynasty. 

A few days pass with little happening. The streets are cleared and decorated with bunting and lanterns, becoming crowded with visitors as the anniversary draws near. And there is no sign of Aiko.

"So if it's a wild goose-monkey chase," says Toph when I complain, "then we'll start again."

I bite back my sharp answer. I've managed to contain my nightmares for the past two nights, waking myself up before I reach the stage of screaming panic. I didn't even disturb Toph last night, for which I congratulated myself until I realised she's probably just getting used to me. I begin taking long walks through the town by myself -- but for whichever Kyoshi Warrior is guarding me -- but I don't see Aiko, or anyone else I recognise from my captivity. 

Suki, with a vengeful gleam in her eye, introduces me to Aiko's parents, watching while I drink tea and try to answer their questions. They're pathetic in their neediness, but I can't think of a way to use them to draw Aiko out. She is no more subject to emotional attachment than I am. 

"Did that make you happy?" I ask Suki as we leave.

"I wasn't doing it for _you_."

She stalks away, and another warrior takes her place at my side. 

There's a formal reception when Zuko arrives. He looks like he'd rather sleep than listen to yet another speech about the Fire Nation's sins. I remain on the sidelines, uninvited and unwelcome, watching. There are whispers on the edge of my perception, the angry murmurs of people unhappy about my presence. 

Or maybe I'm hearing things.

I slip outside.

Something moves in the corner of my eye, a flash of green accented by brown and gold. I whirl around, startled, but she's gone. 

It wasn't just another Kyoshi Warrior. I know that walk, that stance. I --

I bite down panic and force myself to breathe. 

"Azula?"

I move over, and my brother sits beside me, leaning back into the shadows. 

"They'll find you eventually," I warn him.

"I just need a few minutes." He rubs his hands over his face, and even in the dim light I can see the deep shadows beneath his eyes. 

"How's Mai?" I ask.

"Fine. I mean -- well, she's fine." 

"And the child?"

"He's small. But healthy, the physician says. I don't know." He leans forward. "I can't hope. I can't not hope. I didn't want to come, but--"

"You have your duty."

"Yeah." There's an unfamiliar bitter note in his voice. It makes him sound like our father, if Father had ever bothered to regret leaving his children. With a visible effort he straightens up and says, "You look well." 

"I suppose I am." Apart from the nightmares and the fear and the movement in the corner of my eye. 

"You and Toph." A smile touches his lips. "I should have seen that."

"It might be nothing."

"Might not." He reaches out and pulls me into an awkward, uncomfortable one-armed hug. "I'm glad you're okay. I don't think I managed to say that in my letter, but I am. Really glad."

"That's touching, Zuzu," I tell him, and I make my escape before we can embarrass ourselves further.

If anyone follows me, they keep their distance. There's a Kyoshi Warrior, a girl of no more than fourteen, at my heels. I return to the inn, shucking my shoes and outer layers, and I light a candle and kneel before it. This is elementary meditation, the kind I mastered before I was six, but I need this simplicity. 

I close my eyes, feeling the flame rise and fall with my breath, and listen to the fire.


	29. Chapter 29

**Toph**

Between hanging out with Sokka and Suki, and representing Omashu in boring conversations with random dignitaries, I completely lose track of Azula.

"She slipped out a while back," Ty Lee tells me. "I guess she still hates parties."

"At least she hasn't burned this one down yet," says Zuko. It's the closest he's come to making a joke -- if it is a joke -- all night, and we laugh a bit more than it deserves.

Later, when the formal part of the night is over, we escape to the cold beach with a bottle of sake. Zuko builds a fire, and Sokka sings snatches of an obscene Water Tribe hunting song until Suki shushes him. If it weren't for Katara and Aang's absence, it would be just like old times, during the war. 

"Funny," says Zuko when I say this, "I was just thinking that if Mai was here, it would be just like old times, right after the war."

Ty Lee gives a sad little squeak and hugs him, and Sokka says, "Hang in there, buddy. She'll be fine."

"Yeah." 

"Will you leave after the ceremony tomorrow?" Suki asks.

"As soon as I can," Zuko admits. "The royal airship's crew is on standby. In case -- you know."

"Aang will understand," says Sokka. "It's not like he's not putting arriving off to the last minute."

"It's not quite the same thing," says Suki.

"I know. But he hates big, fancy parties so much, Zuko, he'll probably fly you home on Appa if you ask." 

"Don't tempt me."

"How long are you planning to stay, Toph?" asks Suki. "We haven't seen so much as a shadow of Aiko."

"I don't know," I admit. "I don't want to get careless. There are a lot of visitors right now, and there'll be even more arriving tomorrow."

"Yeah, there'll be hourly airships from Chin," says Sokka. 

"We're really here because of Azula's instincts. I guess if Aiko doesn't turn up, we might have to start looking at Ba Sing Se or Yu Dao."

Zuko stirs. "Do you trust Azula's instincts?" he asks.

"Sure." He says nothing. Nettled, I add, "Shouldn't I?"

"I don't know. When she's at her best, she's like a machine. When she's not--"

"Crazy?"

"Yeah."

Suki asks, "Would you trust her with your life, Zuko?" 

"I have before."

Later, Zuko walks me back to my hotel and says, "Are you sure she's okay?"

I hesitate. 

"I think this is harder than she wants to let on," I say at last, "but I don't think she's going crazy, if that's what you mean."

"Sort of," he admits. "I wasn't around until it was too late, the first time, but the physicians did say she might ... relapse."

"But you still send her out to fix your problems."

"Even at her worst," Zuko says, "Azula's still smarter and faster than just about anyone. I know she's guilty of a lot of things, but I also know what she went through as a kid. When she got sick, I tried to give her everything she needed, and when she got better, I gave her a second chance. She hasn't let me down yet."

"She's lucky you're on her side."

"I think I'm luckier she's on mine. Given the alternative."

He yelps like a little girl when I punch his shoulder. 

Azula's asleep when I get to our room, but I kiss her awake.

"You taste like sake," she murmurs, and we wrestle for blankets and space and warmth.

When we're sated and settled, my head resting on her breast, I say, "You are okay, aren't you, Azula?"

She doesn't answer at first, just traces the shell of my ear with her finger. Finally she says, "I think so."

"You'd tell me if you weren't?"

"Of course."

"Good."

I fall asleep listening to her heartbeat.

When I wake up, she's gone.


	30. Chapter 30

**Azula**

The nightmare wakes me hours before dawn. I keep myself still, but Toph doesn't stir.

The thick woven rug muffles my footsteps as I slip outside. 

The drowsy Kyoshi Warrior outside our room stands to attention when I emerge, her eyes narrowing as she sees that I'm fully dressed and carrying my boots.

"I'm going for a walk," I tell her. For a second I think she's going to stop me, but then she shrugs and follows.

I wander through the town with no particular goal in mind, until the buildings give way to forest and the air no longer smells like the sea. The main road is wide and well-travelled, but there's a small path that branches out into the forest. 

"Where does this go?" I ask.

"There's an old shrine in the woods. It's about three quarters of an hour's walk." Her tone suggests she'd prefer I went back to bed. 

I smile and set off down the path. 

Meditation brought me nothing. No wisdom, no fresh memories. Only frustration and a sense that I was regressing, returning to the childhood that had almost destroyed me. 

I breathe deeply, clearing my lungs, and try to settle my mind in the here and now. The crunch of gravel under my boots, the clear, cold air on my skin. My heartbeat is steady, and the world is silent but for our footsteps. 

I am in control.

I am in complete control. 

I realise that my fists are clenched. I thrust them into my sleeves and force myself to relax.

The shrine, when we reach it, is a simple thing, built to honour some local spirit. Such places were common in the Fire Nation before Sozin rejected the old ways. The few shrines at home are crumbling and hollow. This one has a well-tended garden, and the fountain for the ritual cleansing runs clear. I trail my fingers through the icy water, but don't bother washing myself. If there are spirits here, they can take me as I am. Ignoring my bodyguard's cry of protest, I try the door. It slides open without a noise. 

I leave my boots on as I go inside. 

The air in here is cool and still, like that of a cave. I summon flames to the ends of my fingertips and hold up my hand to see. 

There are paintings on the ceiling, looking eerie in the flickering light. Portraits of Kyoshi, I realise, painted in the styles of every nation. One mural depicts her with the clothes and hair of a Fire Nation noble, but she wears her traditional facepaint. Her eyes seem to follow me around the room. 

I shiver. 

There's movement outside and soft footsteps behind me. She stands in the doorway, blocking my exit. Her face is hidden by her heavy white hood, but I know her voice as she says, "Are you here to worship, Azula?"

The doorway behind her is set alight as she ducks my fire, and I rush forward, throwing myself at her. Aiko is a worthy opponent, strong and skilled, but I am younger, more agile, and a firebender. I hit the ground outside heavily, but I'm back on my feet in an instant. 

There's a whisper of fabric, and my Kyoshi bodyguards joins the fight, her fans blocking Aiko's attack and adding force to my flame.

"Turn yourself in," the girl says as she fights, "and we'll see that you're well-treated."

Aiko kicks her in the kneecap, and I hear bones crunch.

"Too late," she says.

Then there are more figures emerging from the woods, and I have four new people to fight. Dai Li, all of them. Aiko steps back, content to watch her minions do her work. 

Too late, I recognise my error: all these weeks with Toph, and I've wasted the chance to train against a powerful earthbender. I'd never have made that mistake in the old days. I leap and kick, ducking their chains, until a heavy stone hits my solar plexus, knocking me to the ground.

I'm winded, but worse, the attack has disrupted my chi, leaving me helpless. Ty Lee herself couldn't have done a nicer job. Aiko looks down at me, rolling the stone off me with her foot.

"I thought you'd make it harder for me," she says. "Are you injured?"

"No," I say, though I can't summon more than a whisper.

"Good." She kneels by my side, taking my hand in hers. "Avatar Kyoshi has need of your services."

I blink, and reality seems to warp around me, stretching until it breaks.


	31. Chapter 31

**Toph**

It's not long after sunrise, but there are people already up and about, getting everything ready for the celebrations later. I listen to the earth, seeking Azula, but she's not around.

Zuko's staying in the centre of a massive complex of tents, the sort that seems incredibly elaborate, but can be constructed and taken down within an hour. His guards let me through without comment.

"Toph?" Zuko's voice is raspy. I hear the clink of a tea cup, and the scrape of his boots on the ground. I guess he hasn't slept.

"Is Azula around?"

"No. I haven't seen her since last night. I thought she went back to--"

"She did. She was gone when I woke up." 

"Maybe she just went for a walk."

"She usually wakes me up." I sit down, pulling my feet up so that I'm separated from the world. Zuko puts a cup in my hands. Jasmine tea. The smell makes me think of Iroh, and how I met him and Azula almost on the same day. 

"Maybe she's gone down to the beach again," I say.

"Shouldn't she have a guard with her?" Zuko asks.

"Yeah. I guess they'd have woken me if there were any problems."

"Maybe she just took off for the day. She really doesn't like crowds." Zuko sounds like he's trying to smile as he adds, "I think they make her nervous."

I finish my tea and leave him to get ready for the day. The sun is well and truly up, and I really need to bathe and change into my formal robes, but I take the long way back, past the wharves and the beach. 

There's no sign of Azula anywhere, not even an echo of her footprint in the sand. 

"All the times for June to take off," I mutter, and I go to get dressed.

My formal robes consist of layers and layers of finely embroidered silk, and I have to get one of the maids to help me put it all on properly. It feels soft and warm against my skin, but it's so floaty and feminine I feel like I'm in disguise. Azula will laugh when she sees me. Maybe later she can help me take it all off. 

I keep thinking I hear her footsteps coming up the stairs, but she never appears. 

Outside, I haven't taken two steps before Suki grabs my arm. 

"Saya was supposed to be relieved at dawn," she says. "Where is she? Where's Azula?"

All the worry I've been repressing comes flooding back.

"I don't know," I tell her, and I repeat what I told Zuko earlier. 

"If your girlfriend has hurt Saya," Suki begins, but then she stops. "I guess we'll worry about that later. Can't you find Azula with your earthbending?"

"There are so many people around, I wouldn't even know Appa."

The streets are more crowded than ever, and I can hear an airship coming in to land.

"I can't spare anyone to look for them," says Suki. "We've already called the retired Kyoshi Warriors back to duty."

"Because what we really needed was a whole lot of older women dressed like Aiko?"

"Well, what was I supposed to do?" Suki snaps. 

"I know. Sorry." I go to scratch my nose, but my stupid sleeve gets in the way. "I'll see if Zuko can spare any guards."

"Thanks, Toph. I--"

We're interrupted by the sound of men shouting, a fight breaking out. Suki squeezes my arm and goes to restore order, and I take off to find Zuko. 

He gives me three guards, solid veterans whose hearts jump a little when I tell them what their mission is. 

"Do you believe she's a danger?" asks Captain Shi, the ranking officer. 

All I can say is that I hope not. 

Because there's no point pretending at this stage. Even if Azula had just taken off to get some space, her guard would have reported in by now. And wherever she is, I don't even know if she's in control of her own mind and actions anymore.

"I swear, if she's okay, I'm going to murder her."

"Pardon?" asks Captain Shi. 

"Nevermind." 

I'm not good with crowds. Too many people. Too much movement. Everytime I hear a woman's voice I freeze. Azula or Aiko? 

I want to be back out in the rocky expanse of the south-west coast, with nothing around me but bare stone and Azula's heartbeat.

We search for an hour and a half, leaving the town and concentrating on the shoreline. I haven't eaten since last night, but we don't give up until I hear a roar above us, and a cheer rising from the town as Appa approaches.

"I promised the Fire Lord I'd have you back in time for the ceremony," Captain Shi tells me. "My men will keep searching until we find her." 

So I go back to the town and fight through the crowd to join the others, pausing only to buy a snack on the way. One good thing about wearing big, billowy robes: lots of places to stash red bean buns. 

Katara greets me with a tight hug.

"Are you okay?" she asks. "Zuko told us what's been happening." 

"I'm fine," I say, "just worried. Aren't you going to give me some kind of lecture about sleeping with the wrong kind of women?"

"Why would I do that?" she asks, and she sounds confused and insulted and maybe a little guilty all at once. So I hug her again and give her a red bean bun.

"Oh, Toph," she says. But she accepts the bun. 

We're supposed to spend the morning sitting on a dais, on display to the world. The problem with Kyoshi Island is that they have a lot of timber and not many earthbenders, so the thing is made of wood. I'm really, truly blind up there, so Katara leads me to my seat by hand. I can hear the others moving, and the excitement of the crowd below, but I have no idea what's actually happening.

"Whose bright idea was this anyway?" I ask.

"I don't know how I got talked into it," says Aang.

"You're too soft, that's the problem."

Oyaji joins us -- I can tell by the tap of his walking stick -- and the crowd settles, ready to put up with a speech or six in exchange for festival food and a glimpse of the Avatar. 

"Honoured citizens," Oyaji begins, but he's interrupted by a scream from the crowd and the crackle of lightning. 

Azula.


	32. Chapter 32

**Azula**

This is worse than madness.

This time I know exactly what's happening to me, and I'm powerless to stop it.

Something has gone wrong. I see it in Aiko's eyes. She gave me the command, then backed away. Her guards surround me, forming a barrier between us.

She had planned to keep me, condition me, for an extra month. She wasn't prepared for Toph. She wasn't prepared for June to fail to return me to my captivity. 

The mindbending is incomplete. I'm half-formed. Broken.

"Pathetic. Just like your brother."

Oh, Father. How fitting that you should join us. You and Aiko make quite a pair: you like to let others do your fighting and dying. You both worked to turn me into a weapon.

You both enjoy destruction for its own sake, wrapped in a veneer of chaos and manifest destiny.

"Quiet," Aiko snaps, so I stop talking. 

That's my own choice, I'm sure.

The Dai Li are looking nervous. I struggle to my knees and tell them that they're pawns in her revenge. "At least Long Feng was more or less loyal to--"

A rock glove slaps me across the cheek. I see it coming, but I don't fight it. I can taste blood. One of my teeth feels loose. 

"That's enough," Aiko says. She advances, pinching my chin, forcing me to look up at her. "You won't speak again until this is over, do you understand?"

I nod, and silently rehearse all the ways I can kill her. But I remain still.

"Your mother has that look sometimes," Father tells me. "Passive. Doll-like. Useless." He stands behind Aiko. "No daughter of mine would be so weak." 

I can't speak, so he continues, telling me in detail of my failings, of the plots against me, of the disgrace and dishonour I bring to his illustrious line. He's still speaking as the Dai Li lead me into the shrine's inner room and leave me, unrestrained and unmoving, while they make their preparations. 

Father talks to me all night, joined over the hours by my mother, my brother. 

Toph appears at dawn. I'm so far gone that for a few moments I think it really is her, but then she fixes me with a bright, piercing look and I realise she's just another hallucination.

"Well," she says, not unkindly, "this is a bitch of a situation, isn't it?"

I lick my lips and try to force words to my lips. _Help me_. The words don't come, but she kneels before me, ghostly hands resting on my thighs. 

"You're down," she tells me," but you're not out yet. You can still fight." 

_Only for Aiko_.

"For yourself." She leans forward, not breaking eye contact. "She doesn't have complete control, remember? I took care of that." She grins. "So I guess I've saved you again."

_What do I do?_

"Think like an earthbender. You can't burn through it. You have to build a wall. Make yourself unmovable, and sooner or later she'll break apart against you." Toph touches my forehead. "Be a rock." 

She kisses me and leaves me alone. 

The Dai Li, dressed as merchants and fishermen, bring me a substantial breakfast, the kind that fuels a long day of fighting. They even unbind me so I can eat. I am docile and obedient. A doll? _No, Father, a statue._

There's armour, too, the uniform of a Fire Nation general. Aiko comes in and watches as they dress me. I haven't worn a uniform like this for a decade, and I feel ridiculous. But I cling to that, because it's a feeling unsanctioned by Aiko, another stone in the wall I'm erecting between us. 

When the guards are finished, she circles, studying me. 

"You look like the stuff of nightmares," she says.

I give her a wide, warm smile, as welcoming and sincere as a Joo Dee.

"I hope I please you," I say. 

Her eyes widen at the unbidden speech, but she can't see through me anymore. 

"Go," she tells me. 

And I obey. 

No one needs to tell me where to go. I make my way through the forest towards the town. I feel the eyes of the Dai Li agents on my back as they follow, but I give them no cause for alarm.

I know what to do. 

At least, I know what Aiko would have me do. 

I hope my strength doesn't fail me. 

Nearly everyone is in the town square. A few people are left to gape at my uniform, but the streets are otherwise empty. I hear the rumbling of the crowd. Toph is out there, I tell myself, and if I fail, she will take me down. She promised. She won't abandon me now. 

At the very centre of the crowd is the dais. The Avatar is talking to Toph, a smile on his face. Oyaji is getting up to speak. The Avatar will follow. I will have a clear shot. 

All I have to do is wait.

The Dai Li have blended into the crowd. Aiko must be here, too; she won't want to miss her revenge. All my enemies, ready to take me down if I make the wrong move. 

I close my eyes, summoning the certainty that used to come so easily. 

"Honoured citizens," begins Oyaji. 

I raise my hand and let the lightning flow, a whipcrack of energy blasting harmlessly into the sky. Someone screams. I think I hear Toph calling my name. The ground shifts beneath me, but I move before the Dai Li can trip me in place, and as the crowd surges, I try to push my way towards the dais. 

I've done it, I think. Instead of assassinating the Avatar, I've created a panic. Aiko's control over me has shattered. 

I won.

Then I meet the Avatar's eye, and I realise I'm taking aim.


	33. Chapter 33

**Toph**

Aang deflects Azula's flames with a blast of wind and throws himself forward to meet her head on.

"Zuko, no!" Katara shouts, but I guess he's following Aang.

"We need to get everyone out of here," Sokka shouts.

"On it," says Katara. "Toph, you should--"

"Help me down," I say. I'm ready to fight Katara if I have to, but she just takes my hand and leads me to the stairs. 

"Be careful," she says. 

Most of the crowd has already dispersed. Aang and Azula are duelling, and though Azula is badly unbalanced, she's holding her own. Zuko circles around them, supporting Aang, but Azula doesn't seem to notice him at all. 

Ty Lee appears at my side. 

"Funny," she says. "Mai says she always complains she's not as strong as she used to be."

"Can you knock her out without hurting her?"

"Maybe. I don't know." Ty Lee squeezes my shoulder. "I'll try." 

I promised Azula that I'd take her down if she lost control, and I'll keep my word if I have to. But right now I need to find Aiko.

I drop to my knees and put my hands on the ground. Everything is instantly amplified. I concentrate, pushing the distractions away. 

First I have to let go of Azula, her firm firebender's stance a stark contrast to Aang's lighter touch. 

Then I tune out the others, Ty Lee and Zuko, Sokka and Katara and the civilians they're evacuating. 

Now I'm looking for the people who aren't running away. 

A man standing by a stall. Dai Li agent, or worried shopkeeper? I dismiss him for the moment. Two earthbenders watching the fight from a distance, almost certainly Aiko's men, but removed for now. 

I follow the bones of a house from its foundations to the clay roof tiles. Two more agents. And another two on the building opposite. We're surrounded. 

Or at least, Azula is surrounded.

For a second I'm distracted, and I have to remind myself that, even if Azula can't or won't defend herself, Zuko won't let them kill his little sister. 

Aiko. Aiko. 

"Where are you, Aiko?" I ask.

"Right here." 

Wooden soles on her shoes. _Bitch._ I hear the swish of a metal fan and use the earth to deflect it. There's the scrape of steel on stone, warping her weapon, but before I can even think about gloating, I hear her draw her sword. 

"How can you defend yourself against a weapon you can't see?"

Usually I try to avoid close combat with armed opponents, but why let her feel like she has an advantage? She advances and I retreat, shifting the ground beneath her feet to throw her off balance. Those fucking wood-soled shoes. The concentration to feel the mere pressure of her weight on the ground is more than I can afford to spare. But it's easier when she's moving. 

"Guess I fucked up your plan, then," I say.

"Do you think so?"

"Everyone knows what's happening here. Not even Azula can single-handedly start a war." 

"But there will always be doubts. Was she truly being manipulated, or is that an excuse created by her naive, besotted lover?"

I laugh.

"Yeah," I say, "I'm about as naive as a wolfbat." 

Her sword swishes, but I'm ready now. I summon the earth to shield me, and I reach out with it, using the stone to extend my arms. 

"Too slow," I say as the rock encases Aiko's hands. 

She kicks, and there's a white, burning pain in my hip. Wood-soled shoes _with knives_. I hold my breath and try to block out the pain, and I don't let her go. 

"Come on," I mutter. "Azula? Azula!"

She's intent on fighting Aang and Zuko, igniting trees and buildings, distracting them from the real fight as they try to contain the damage. Ty Lee is sprawled on the ground, conscious but in pain. 

"Hey! Princess! Over here!"

Azula pauses. Her weight shifts as she turns to me.

"You want Aiko?" I ask. 

I can't tell what she's thinking. I hope I haven't made a terrible mistake. 

"You," Azula breathes. Her voice is thick. I think she must be crying.

I begin to stretch out my metal armband, turning it into a strong, flexible wire. 

"Azula," Aiko shouts, "you know who our enemies are." 

Azula moves to strike. 

Too late, I realise what's going to happen. I break the bonds between me and Aiko and throw the wire at Azula, aiming for her hands and hoping that I haven't miscalculated. 

Lightning crackles. Faster than I can think, heat and power wrap their way up the wire, into my body. I'm thrown backwards, hitting my head on the ground, and the last thing I hear before I lose consciousness is Azula screaming.


	34. Chapter 34

**Azula**

Someone was screaming a few moments ago. Now it's a whimpering cry, like an injured animal. Someone should put her out of her misery.

I am surrounded by movement. People rush to Toph's side, blocking my view of her body. Others rush to restrain me, but I bat them aside. 

Aiko and I are the only still points. 

At last I regain control of my voice and breath. 

"Our enemies." It hurts to speak. "Our common enemies." 

"Yes, Azula." Aiko nods at the Avatar, picking himself up from where I threw him. "We were built for war."

"Our enemy is peace?"

I look around me. Zuko is coming towards us, ready to play the heroic big brother and save me from myself. I throw my hand out, and he stops obediently. 

I give him one final look of contempt. If he was truly a king, he'd ignore my wishes and save me. It's what our father would have done. Not that Father ever desired to save anyone, least of all a daughter stupid enough to become a pawn in someone else's game. But his will was always paramount. 

I hope Zuko himself tells our father what happened today. Father will despise me as much as I do.

I take a step towards Aiko. 

"Help me," I say. "I need you." 

I am a much better liar than she is. Or maybe she just wants to believe that I'm her own creation. 

It's the smallest, most precise bolt of lightning I've ever created, all the power of a storm compressed into one fierce spark. It leaps from my hand to her heart. She freezes, rigid. 

I grab her wrist and watch her die. 

"Azula!"

I ignore my brother and concentrate on increasing the intensity of my lightning. Aiko's clothes burst into flames, and I close my eyes, waiting for the immolation to engulf me. 

Instead, strong hands grab my shoulders and wrench me away, snuffing out my lightning like a candle. 

I open my eyes and look up at the Avatar. 

"I can't let you kill yourself," he says gently. I wait for him to say something about Toph, that he's doing it for her, but he's looking at me like I'm the most important person in the world. Like he cares about me. Admires and fears me all at once. 

"You didn't have to," I tell him.

He squeezes my hand.

I lose track of time after that. They take me back to Zuko's airship and give me a tea that's only meant to be calming. It makes me sleep, or maybe I'm just exhausted. 

I dream about the caverns, the light, and Aiko's voice. She's telling me about her past, her years as a puppet in Ba Sing Se. How she loves and hates that city. 

I want to tell her about my victories over Long Feng, but I keep asking, over and over again, "Where is Toph? Where is she? Where is Toph?"

She laughs and walks away into the darkness, where my father is waiting and I don't want to follow. 

These dreams go on for a long time. 

When I wake up, we're airborne, and my brother is sitting by my side. He's unshaven and exhausted, going through some papers with a frown on his face, but when he sees I'm awake he smiles and puts business aside to make tea. 

"You really are Uncle's pathetic lapdog," I say, but my voice is so blurred from sleep that the malice is gone.

Zuko just smiles, and angles the tray so I see that nothing goes into my drink except jasmine tea. He goes so far as to drink from my cup first, and looks so pleased with himself that I want to throw the tea back in his face. But I don't. I'm thirsty.

We sit in silence for a while. Eventually Zuko says, "When I was in Ba Sing Se, I had a -- friend -- who was taken away and given to the mindbenders. I never saw him again, but he broke through the brainwashing as well." 

"What happened to him?"

"The Dai Li killed him." 

At least I've gone one better, then. Thoughts of Aiko sit in the back of my mind, a tender spot I don't want to touch. I keep reliving Toph's fall and the crack of her head as it hit the ground. But I'm falling as well, my father's boot on my chest, his fire consuming my flesh. 

"Am I always going to come back to this place?"

Zuko looks at me. Too late I take my hand away from the scar on my shoulder. 

He knows better than to take my hand, but he says, "I still go back to the Agni Kai." 

"What do you do?"

"Meditate. Talk to Mai. Or Aang or Katara. And I try not to give him the satisfaction of failing." 

Something moves behind him. Aiko, I think, created out of madness to haunt me. But it's just an officer. She hands Zuko a message and retreats. 

"It's Toph," he says, pressing the paper into my hand. "She's awake."


	35. Chapter 35

**Toph**

I wake up in bits and pieces. First there's my hearing, Katara's voice in low conversation with a stranger. Then my sense of smell. I'm in a room full of herbs, teas, horrible medicinal things. I'm on a soft, high bed with blankets around me, but that's all I can tell, because not a single part of me is touching the earth.

Slowly I become aware of the throbbing ache in my head that matches the churning of my stomach. I barely have time to call out before I throw up. 

Luckily Katara's skills include vomitbending. When I'm done, she helps me rinse out my mouth. 

"How do you feel?" she asks. 

"I..." Like I've just been beaten up by a platypus bear, or maybe just struck by lightning. I swallow and try to think. I don't need to feel the earth to know how worried Katara is. 

I lick my lips and say, "Katara..."

"Yes, Toph?"

"I've gone blind." 

She swats my arm, but I think she relaxes a bit. She moves down to the foot of my bed.

"How many fingers are touching your foot?" she asks.

"Two. And a thumb." I waggle my toes at her. 

"Do you remember what happened?"

Azula. Aiko. Lightning come out of nowhere and the ground refusing to give way to me. 

My head is throbbing.

"Most of it, I think." Beneath its bandages, my right palm is stiff and sore. But Katara's good at burns. "How's Azula? Everything's over, right? Tell her to get her ass in here and apologise for burning me, if she's woman enough." 

Quietly Katara says, "She's on her way home." 

"Oh." 

"She was in a bad way, and Zuko thought it best..."

"Did Aiko--"

"Azula killed Aiko. Right in front of us." 

I don't say anything, because as much as I would have liked to find out everything Aiko knew, and then send her to jail for however long you get for killing people and trying to start a war, I can't quite blame Azula. Or at least, I understand. A little. 

"Did she seem..." I don't want to say 'crazy', but Katara seems to know what I mean.

"Not like the first time. She just … crumpled, as if her strings had been cut. I don't know what happened after that. I was concentrating on you." 

"Thanks." 

"Sokka said you two seemed good together. I mean, considering." 

"Yeah. I think we were." 

"I'm sure everything -- I mean, she's strong." Katara sounds hesitant, like she can't believe she's saying this. "You'll work it out."

I take a deep breath, flexing my hand again. "I think I'd like to rest for a while, if that's okay."

"Of course." 

It takes me a long time to relax. My mind's racing, despite my pounding head, and I keep thinking about Azula, how lost and humiliated she must feel. The thought of being Aiko's puppet, even for a day, makes my skin crawl, like climbing into a metal box and going back to Gaoling. 

Yeah, I can see -- hah! -- why she killed Aiko.

Still a bad move, though. I hope the others managed to capture Aiko's supporters, or else we're stuck with a dead woman and an emotionally unstable war criminal. I should ask Katara when she comes back.

And I need to send a message to Azula. As soon as I figure out what to say that won't have her setting me, or herself, on fire. 

It occurs to me for the first time that I haven't been bored once since Azula came back into my life. Not that I was bored before, exactly, but my work in Omashu has more bureaucracy than fighting. Less waking up with burns and head injuries. 

Less Azula. 

I hope she's okay. 

My head is killing me. Sleep now, worry later. I tell myself that until I fall asleep again.


	36. Chapter 36

**Azula**

Insanity, if that's what this is, feels different the second time around. I'm not murderous or violent, even towards myself. No hallucinations have appeared since I murdered Aiko.

It's quite peaceful, really. 

Nevertheless, I'm moved into my mother's apartments. I don't care. Her concern is less tedious than Zuko's, and even if it wasn't, I don't have the energy to put up a fight. My days are quiet. I can sit for hours without moving, sorting through my memories of Aiko, trying to distinguish between truth and lies. Trying to put her in her place. 

But even in the stillness, I cannot meditate, not even with a single candle. The flame grows and flickers, my breath catches in my throat, and all control is lost. 

"The Avatar may as well have taken my bending." 

I wasn't meant to overhear the servants wondering why he hadn't. 

"You've never been one to give up just because something's difficult," says Mother. So I go back to working at it. 

A letter comes from Ty Lee -- to me, not Mai -- letting me know that she wasn't badly hurt, and would like to visit in the summer, if I don't mind. 

She writes, _Toph is recovering well, but she's very impatient, which makes it difficult. Earthbenders are the most stubborn patients of all!_

I commit that bare paragraph to memory and let my erratic flames consume the letter.

Mai visits me that afternoon, her tiny scrap of a son in her arms. We drink tea and she shares court gossip, for once with no instructions hidden in the subtext. 

"We should take Ty Lee to Ember Island this summer," I say.

Mai gives me a sharp look, then smiles a little.

"Like old times?"

"I hope not." 

I was trying to be facetious, but she seems to take it as a sign of something positive.

After that day, all the stillness of the last few weeks evaporates, and I find myself spending hours pacing up and down, trying to settle my unquiet mind. The nightmares never left me, but they become more intense. Two nights out of three, Mother has to wake me before I set my bed on fire. 

For the first time in my life I am fidgety. And worse, clumsy. Tea cups and chopsticks slip from my fingers. I feel like a child. 

"I've become ridiculous," I tell my mother. "This must be how Zuko feels every day." 

She doesn't smile. "He had to learn perseverance. So do you." 

"I'm crawling out of my own skin." 

So she takes me outside and drills me in endless repetitions of basic katas, until I'm too exhausted to do anything but bathe myself and crawl into my bed. 

Then she pulls out one of Piandao's swords, a sleek weapon with her personal seal engraved in the hilt. 

"What's that for?"

"It's mine." She passes me a lighter, simpler practice sword. "This is yours." 

"Are we to fight like peasants now?"

"We'll begin with the basics." 

From the moment I created my first flames, Father had charge of my teaching. For some reason I always thought Mother would be softer. Weaker. 

She's not cruel, but she's as demanding as any master I ever had. When she finally releases me, I'm so exhausted a servant has to help me bathe. 

But I feel better the next day. So we do it again. And again. And again. 

"You haven't asked about Toph," she says one day. 

I shrug. "There's not much to ask about. I knew it wouldn't last." As if the humiliation of being interrogated by my mother about my love life wasn't enough, my voice cracks as I speak. She moves to touch me, but I flinch, and she stops. 

"Show me your kata again," she says. Her voice, at least, is even, but her eyes are very bright. I turn away from her and concentrate on my work. 

This has nothing to do with my decision, a few days later, to write to Toph. 

My first attempt is almost illegible. My second and third are insipid. 

The fourth version is more open -- explicit, in fact -- but then I remember that someone will have to read it to her. It goes up in smoke, my flames so wild I almost burn my hair. 

Finally I write, _I'm sorry. I need you. Please come._

It will take a few days for my letter to reach the Earth Kingdom. A couple of days for Toph's journey, if she comes by airship. If she decides to come at all. 

I tell myself there's no point in counting down the hours, even if it were in my nature to do so. I give my letter to a servant and try to put it out of my mind. 

So I'm taken by surprise the next day, when, at the end of a long, frustrating drill session and I'm on the verge of tears, a servant steps out into the courtyard, a stocky figure trailing in her wake, and announces, "Toph Bei Fong."


	37. Chapter 37

**Toph**

Azula's footsteps are unsteady, and she stinks of sweat and smoke. She takes a few steps towards me, and I can feel the heat and sweat radiating from her body.

In a shaky voice she says, "I didn't want you to see me like this." 

"Well," I say, "there, you're in luck." 

She laughs a little.

"How did you get here so fast? I only sent the letter last night."

"Huh? No, I got your mom's letter." 

"Oh." Azula still sounds shaken, but her voice is terribly sweet as she says to the servant who brought me here, "Where _has_ my mother vanished to?" 

"Visiting her grandson the prince, my lady." 

"Ah. The one place in the palace where even I won't make a scene." She's beginning to sound slightly amused. "You're dismissed," she tells the servant. "No, bring us some food and something to drink. Noodles and lychee juice. Then leave us alone." 

The servant takes off, and I put my hands on her hips.

"Not even a kiss hello?"

Azula hesitates, then her lips touch mine. For a second I'm afraid she'll pull away, but then she relaxes, just a bit, and deepens the kiss. 

When we're finally done, I put my head on her shoulder and say, "You seriously stink, princess." 

"I've been training since dawn." 

"Want me to scrub your back?"

"Is that how this is?" Azula pulls away, though her hand stays in mine. "Like nothing happened?"

I shrug. "You know I'm not good at the whole feelings talk. Yeah, you attacked a bunch of people. Yeah, killing Aiko is going to cause problems in sorting all of this out. _That wasn't your choice._ "

"Except killing Aiko. I chose that. And I'd choose it again." 

"Yeah, I know." I go to take her hand again. "What couple doesn't have disagreements? Aang and Katara fight about stuff all the time." 

"And Katara kills a lot of people?"

"Well, she threatens them. A lot. You should ask Zuko." My head is starting to ache again. I create a nice bench from the stones of the courtyard and lead Azula to sit down. "Look, I'm not like Aang. I guess I'd like to be, but that's not my nature. Pragmatically, politically, killing Aiko was a bad move. For you, personally? I might have helped you. If you hadn't gone and knocked me out, I mean." 

Azula's hand touches my head, her fingers grazing against the scar where they had to stitch my scalp shut. The hair is growing back, at least. 

She says, "I'm never going to be stable. The physicians think it might get easier as I get older, but there's no guarantee. There will always be something wrong with me." 

"You're crazy. I'm blind. No one's perfect." I lean back and put my feet in her lap. "It's not that I don't take you seriously, it's just -- I've been there. I know what it's like." 

"But you know you're blind. I don't always know when I'm … unwell." 

"So maybe you need to trust me to tell you." 

Azula says nothing, but she runs a finger down the sole of my foot, her thumb stroking my ankle. 

"Zuzu says the Earth King is overseeing an investigation into Aiko's group." 

"Yeah. Heads are starting to roll. Metaphorically, most of them. That kid who killed himself on the beach? His dad was one of Aiko's people on Kyoshi Island. After we told him his son was dead, and how he died, he started telling us all kinds of things." 

"Good." 

"There's a lot of work left to do, cleaning up the mess. Could take years." Azula says nothing. I lean forward, my hand finding and closing around her wrist. "Listen," I say, "the reason I didn't send a message or anything -- I just didn't know what to say. When your mom's letter came, it was like being rescued." 

"What did she take it upon herself to say on my behalf?"

"That she was worried about you, and thought it might help if you saw me. Was she right?"

"Yes," Azula admits. "I didn't realise until I saw how you much I missed your … strength." 

The last word is said softly, almost in a whisper. It cost her a lot, I think, to admit she relied on anyone but herself. 

I lean back on my bench, turning my face up to the sun.

"Likewise," I say. 

"Ah." It sounds like she's smiling. 

"So," I nudge her thigh with my foot, "how about that bath? And lunch?"

"I'll wash your feet." 

I stand up and draw her to her feet, then pull her into a long kiss. 

Then we go inside. 

 

_end_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you got this far, THANK YOU. I seem to have been working on this ridiculous fic for over two years now, which is ... no, it's totally worth it. I've learned a lot, my plotting skills have improved (no, seriously -- but I started with a pretty low bar), and while there are a handful of things I wouldn't mind going back and changing in this story, I'm happy overall with the shape of it. Thank you for indulging me, and I hope it was a good read.


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